Posts Tagged ‘Sports Photo’

Here in the lull, I have made some fairly substantial updates to the masterpieces on display in the Tennessee Home for the Visually Offensive. Including these amazing works of art:

For those of you who truly appreciate beautiful artworks, slide on over to the THFVO and give it a look, and for any of you who have works you’d like placed on permanent display, or a site which you think has the quality required for placement in the permanent collection here at Gate 21, send me an email by clicking on my signature below, and fire me a link or a file.

– Go Figure …

Images Courtesy of: YMSWWC • LSU Freek • Loser With Socks

Wow … all I can say is “Wow.”

We all knew it was bad when the Mitchell Report came out naming Roger Clemens as a doper, but I figured there was more to the story — a more complete telling, if you will. It got worse when Brian McNamee started waving around dirty syringes and old beer cans, but I assumed – at least to some extent — it was simply a ploy for attention by McNamee in hopes of deflecting the pressure that was coming down on him like a ton of bricks. It got downright embarrassing when Roger decided to “clear his name” before Congress. I assumed that was about as bad as it could get.

You know what, I was wrong…

Mindy McCready

Roger Clemens, has now passed from the uglier side of sports into the completely absurd, as revelations have now emerged regarding Roger Clemens alleged (and I use “alleged” because I am a lawyer, and I firmly believe that everyone has the right to refute charges leveled against them … oh yeah, and because Clemens has lawyers too) ten-year affair with Mindy McCready.

Don’t get me wrong though, I am not purporting to judge Clemens for supposedly having an affair. If he did he would hardly be the first or the last. People are human; people make mistakes — even athletes. Far be it for me to act like some moral inquisitor on the issue of another person’s love life.

I am, however, judging him for supposedly starting the affair when he was 28 and McReady was 15 years-old. It’s one thing to be unfaithful to your wife (bad though it may be), it’s an entirely different thing to commit statutory rape.

If all of this is, in fact, true, then Roger Clemens has just passed into legend. He has just won the all-time award for bad behavior by an athlete … ever. He has cemented his place in the Lecherous Idiot Hall of Fame. He has earned the All-Universe Trophy for Excellence in Dumbassery. He has won the gold, silver, and bronze medals at the Celebrity Career Suicide and Flame-out Olympics.

Oh yeah, he may have also earned himself 15 to 20 years in the service of the state…

I have never personally witnessed — forget me — the World has never witnessed such an absurdly meteoric and apocalyptic meltdown of a figure in the public eye … ever. Forget all the others, Clemens has so raised the bar on crashing and burning that there are no words to even describe it

Even Ron Artest knows you don’t hit babies. Even Eliot Spitzer knows you have to check their age before you pay them. Michael Vick never threw puppies into the pit.

Still, it is hard to believe that a few months ago, Roger Clemens was doing cell phone commercials. Now he is untouchable.

A few public figures, however, have commented on Clemens’ downfall:*

Joe Namath said:

Poor Roger, everything down the toilet … I wanna kiss you.

Harold Reynolds chimed in stating:

Look what he’s done, and they fired me? All I did was hug the b**ch!

Martha Stewart offered a bit of advice:

Well, I just hope Roger understands what prison life can be like. If it hadn’t been for my award-winning recipe for making Jailhouse Hooch, it would have been tough.

Pete Rose probably summed it best by saying:

Those are some pretty long odds to gamble on … so can I get in the Hall of Fame now?

From this day forward, anytime anyone in the public eye gets themselves in trouble for something insanely stupid, for something violating the code of sportsmanship, gets caught breaking the law … hell … gets caught doing pretty much anything they shouldn’t …

… they will be said to have “Pulled a Clemens”

Hopefully, this is the end of the fall for Roger Clemens, not because I feel particularly sorry for him, but because the situation keeps getting more ridiculous. I mean what could possibly come next, tying Clemens to Al Queda?

Osama Bin Clemens

Either way, Clemens will forever be emblematic of the select few amazingly talented people who just pissed their lives away.

When it comes to destroying your entire life, everything you have worked for, Roger Clemens is truly the greatest…

– Go Figure …

*Disclaimer: As if it were not completely obvious, the quotes in this article are complete crap and are purely a creation of the unbalanced mind of the author. The quotes above (along with all images bearing the “Gate 21″ Logo contained therein) are fictional humorous depictions (a/k/a “Farks”), intended as satire, of Roger Clemens and others, and do not reflect the views or position of the the individuals named herein. Neither this posting, those who created it, nor this blog are in anyway affiliated with Roger Clemens, or any other individuals mentioned hereinabove. So please don’t have your lawyers send me a bunch of nasty letters…

Despite the fact that basketball season has been over for nearly a month now, Geno Auriemma just can’t let it go…

Apparently, Geno simply couldn’t fight the urge to run his mouth one last time. At a press conference wrapping up the 2007-08 season, Geno jumped on the chance to get in a dig on Pat Summitt over the cancellation of the regular season Tennessee vs. Connecticut series and “Tour-gate.” Nevermind the fact that — since the season is over and the UConn Huskies weren’t around as one of the last two teams standing — no one gives two shits about his opinion at this point. Geno, being his usual blowhard self, went straight ahead and got those gums a-flappin’

I don’t have to say anything. Pat knows. She knows why we’re not playing. There’s nothing for me to say. I’m not the one that made the decision not to play. So she should just tell you why instead of saying, ‘Geno knows.’ I do know. I already told you. She accused us of cheating at recruiting. She doesn’t have the courage to say it publicly. So yeah, Geno does know. And I’ve said it.

. . .

There’s a lot of things I know about a lot of people. That doesn’t mean I cancel the series. This is the same person who said if the Duke fans didn’t treat her players right, she was going to cancel that series.

Auriemma went on to add that he would only resume the series under favorable circumstances:

It would have to be eight games here, one in Nashville and one in Memphis; that would be my proposal to them. That’s the only way I would do it.

Sounds to me as if Geno is simply trying to grab a little bit of publicity for his team — perhaps in hopes that the hype will prevent some poor recruit from realizing what an arrogant tool he is. The fact remains, however, that the gap between he and Pat Summit is only getting wider, and each dumb comment on his part only serves to make him look like more of a sour-grapes jackass than he already does.

I mean, really, Geno, who gives a damn right now? What relevance does this have to anything other than stroking your ego?

To her credit, Pat Summitt’s response was as appropriate as it was direct. Summitt simply stated:

It’s absolutely not worth a comment.

I imagine that if she had been responding directly to Geno — face to face — her words might have been more … pointed.

Don Imus, on the other hand chimed right in stating:

Auriemma’s tirade sounded like some whacked-out ghetto crack whore looking for a trick and some smack… **

Shortly thereafter, Imus followed-up this comment by indicating that he would be changing his name, undergoing plastic surgery, and moving to Paraguay. **

One way or the other, Auriemma is already cementing his position as the early front runner for the “2008-09 Women’s College Basketball Massengill Douchebag of the Year Award.”

Way to go Geno, once again you’ve outdone yourself…

In other Basketball news, the folks over at Hugging Harold Reynolds have made a breakthrough in the battle to combat global warming and environmental degradation, which links these problems directly to the NBA.

Who knew?

– Go Figure …

Quotes Courtesy of: GoVolsXtra • Images Courtesy of: SI.com & The Phoenix

**Disclaimer: As if it were not completely obvious, the quote from Don Imus is complete crap and is purely a creation of the unbalanced mind of the author. That quote is a fictional humorous depiction (a/k/a “Fark”), intended as satire, of Don Imus and his prior statements about “Nappy-Headed-Hos,” and does not reflect the views or position of Mr. Imus. Neither this posting, those who created it, nor this blog are in anyway affiliated with the Don Imus. So please don’t have your lawyers send me a bunch of nasty letters…

All other quotes in this article are — to the best of the author’s knowledge — accurate

I somehow managed to miss these yesterday in the run-up to the game against Louisville, but the boys over at Awful Announcing have discovered a site with pictures of Bruce Pearl from his high school yearbook, with a Superfly afro.

All I can say to that hairdo is … “Baaauun-Chicka-Baaun-Chow“

Man, I find more reasons to like Bruce Pearl everyday…

– Go Figure …

Images Courtesy of: The Dirty

With a win tonight in the Sweet 16, the BasketVols will take the next step in cementing their place as the greatest Tennessee Mens Basektball team of all time. They will be tested, that is for sure, but everything tells me that tonight Bruce and the Barbarians will be ready, and will not disappoint.

Though I rarely make prognostications, I predict Tennessee will defeat Rick Pitino and the Louisville Cardinals tonight somewhere on the order of 76 – 70. Hopefully I’m not completely crazy, but I believe in this team.

For a more in depth breakdown, see the Bruce Ball Blog and Rocky Top Talk — any statistical analysis I would write would pale in comparison. For a lighter, and really ponderous take on the match-up, slide on over to Fulmer’s Belly.  Tipoff is tonight at 9:57 on CBS.

In the meantime … (note spy movie music in the background…)

It’s time for a battle … it’s time for a reckoning … and it’s time for Pitino and the Louisville Cardinals to pay for their actions, and Bruce Pearl is the ready hold them accountable!

Go Vols! Beat the Cardinals!

– Go Figure …

Well, I’m not going to re-hash what everyone else has already said, but this weekend it’s on! The No 2 Tennessee Volunteers take on the No 1 Memphis Tigers at the FedEx Forum in Memphis. It’s guaranteed to be a fabulous game, and hopefully Bruce and the Barbarians will get the train going and show the Tigers who is boss.

For a little breakdown, info, and fun, check out these posts:

• Bruce Pearl’s Letter to John Calipari and a Stat Breakdown for Memphis and Tennessee — Rocky Top Talk
• The Break Down, Part I, Part II, and Part III — The Bruce Ball Blog

It’s going to be huge, and everyone in the nation is watching! Let’s get the Train Going!

Go Vols, Beat the Mem-puss-es!!!

– Go Figure …

BasketVols” align=”right” height=”77″ hspace=”5″ vspace=”5″ width=”85″ />Well, I was so pissed off about the Britton Colquitt situation yesterday that I was delayed in talking about the good news for the Tennessee Volunteers — namely the BasketVols earning a No 2 ranking for the first time in school history.

This is truly a remarkable team, one which has surpassed even the most enthusiastic expectations. This team is playing with more heart, more determination, and more fire than any Tennessee team in the modern era. They are not perfect, but they leave it all on the court, and they just keep winning. What’s more, they have managed to do so without letting their individual egos come before the team. This is unprecedented in the history of the Tennessee Men’s Basketball program.

Next up is, of course, the Auburn Tigers on Wednesday night. That is the next order of business for the team.

Of course the rest of us will be looking to the matchup against the No 1 Memphis Tigers in Memphis at 9:00 on Staurday. Who would have thought that the Tennessee-Memphis game would be a No 1 vs No 2 matchup — especially this late in the season. This game may be the game of the year.

Ignoring the Memphis game, however, the Vols need to focus on beating Auburn first — protecting their lead in the SEC — and then look to the Tigers. An SEC championship is much more important than bragging rights against the Tigers. As much as I’d love to see the BasketVols beat Memphis, more than anything I want Bruce and the Barbarians to hang another banner in the rafters of the Tommy Bowl.

One way or the other, with their No 2, ranking this BasketVols team continues To Boldly go Where No Vol Has Gone Before…

– Go Figure …