Posts Tagged ‘Rants From the Cheap Seats’

I’m sure that Phillip Fulmer knew that things were not going to be easy when he found out that rising-Senior Britton Colquitt was arrested for DUI and fleeing the scene of an accident on Sunday. I doubt even Fulmer thought they would be this difficult.

I, along with many others, have come out publicly to decry the fact that Colquitt was not dismissed from the team. I stopped just short of saying that Fulmer should resign or be fired as a result of the off-field incidents which have plagued the Tennessee Volunteers football program over the last five weeks.

The Knoxville News Sentinel’s John Adams did not stop short.

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Once again, the Tennessee Volunteers are in the news for bad behavior, and once more it is a member of the Tennessee football team that is responsible for the bad press that the university and the athletic department is garnering.

govolsxtra.com/news/2008/feb/17/ut-punter-charged-dui-leaving-scene-accident/”> According to GoVolsXtra, Tennessee punter Britton Colquitt was arrested and charged with DUI and leaving the scene of an accident. According to the police, Colquitt was arrested near Knoxville’s Old City District after driving his SUV into a parked car and then leaving the scene of the accident. The arresting officer indicated that Colquitt smelled strongly of alcohol, failed a field sobriety test, but later refused a breathalyzer or blood test.

This represents Colquitt’s fifth alcohol-related incident …

In response to the arrest and charges, Coach Phillip Fulmer announced on Sunday that Colquitt will be suspended for the first five games of the 2008 football season, will lose his scholarship, and will be required to undergo alcohol counseling, along with other undisclosed “internal punishments.” Colquitt was previously suspended for an alcohol-related event in 2004.

Colquitt’s arrest is the most recent in a seemingly unending string of off-the-field incidents involving Tennessee Football players. Since 11 January, six members of the football team have been charged by police, one other player (Vince Faison) was also charged with DUI, less than two weeks ago.

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Alright, I admit it, this rant has been building up for a while now … about 23 years.

The first time I saw Ted Valentine officiate a basketball game, I was a kid, and it was the Southern Conference Basketball Tournament which used to be played in my hometown of Asheville, North Carolina. Up until that point in my life, I never really gave much thought to the referees and their role in a basketball game.

Ted Valentine made sure I never neglected to think of the officials ever again…

From the moment that game began, it became obvious that Valentine wanted everyone in the Asheville Civic Center to realize that he was there, and he was in charge. He wanted to make sure that no one forgot him. Even to this day, I can hardly remember the name of any of the players in the game, but I still remember Valentine.

Since that game, I’ve probably seen Valentine officiate close to 20 games in person, and who knows how many on television. How do I know that? In every game Ted Valentine calls, he goes to great lengths to make sure that no one in a game ever forgets him, whether they be players coaches or fans. When Ted Valentine is on the floor, he makes it clear that the players get to compete at his pleasure. His overly-aggressive and antagonistic on-court persona dominates. When Valentine is officiating, it is about him — God forbid the actual game get in the way of his opportunity to strut.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that officials do have a difficult job. They are charged with overseeing the collision of, often legendary, drive, strength, and egos — and that’s just the fans in the seats. I know they get a lot of lip, and very little credit — when they do their job right, no one realizes they were there. They are supposed to be cool, objective, and dispassionate. They have to deal with mad coaches, jacked-up players, and fanatical boosters. I know this because my father used to referee high school basketball, and a close family friend is a college official. Still, that is what they sign up for; it’s not like a person is required to serve as a basketball official.

Ted Valentine has never been accused of being cool, objective, or dispassionate. He has had run-ins with the coaches of almost every major school in the country. Don’t take my word for it, a quick Google of “Ted Valentine“ will yield a litany of rants and raves — some from respected journalists. Even I must admit, however, that Valentine is some kind of genius.

Valentine is the only person I’ve ever seen that, the worse he did his job, the more rapidly he moved up the ranks…

In my opinion, Valentine has no business officiating any basketball game. Of course no one cares what I think, and the SEC, Big Ten, ACC, Big XII, NCAA, and numerous other conferences continue to give Valentine choice assignments — including the NCAA Final Four.

So why am I writing all of this now? Valentine officiated the Tennessee vs. Florida game, and yet again he managed to make himself known. In this instance it was a technical foul called against J.P. Prince immediately after getting hammered to the floor by Florida’s Dan Werner.  As he slammed Prince to the ground, Werner was immediately called for an intentional foul by one of the other officials. Prince got up — admittedly — angry, yet no shoving occurred. Valentine, however, ran all the way across the floor and immediately called a technical against Prince.

Now, I wasn’t standing there. I cannot say that Prince didn’t earn the technical honestly (Yeah, I know that’s an odd way of putting it…). In fact, I can guarantee you that — most likely — Prince did earn the foul — I’d have been pissed too if I had just taken an elbow drop the way he did. I have to give all of that to Valentine.

Still, sometimes, as an official you have to exercise a little discretion. Sometimes, you have to balance a “technical” violation of the rules against the intent and purpose of the rules. As every official I’ve ever spoken with has told me, you could call a foul on every single play, but that’s not what the referee is there for. You have to let the players play the game.

That is, unless you are Ted Valentine…

– Go Figure …

Due to my preoccupation with adding my new Tennessee Home for the Visually Offensive to Gate 21 this week, I have refrained from writing about all of the chatter about the BasketVols performance against Alabama this past Tuesday night. In particular, numerous folks “in the know” have been going on endlessly about one particularly ill-advised play by JaJuan Smith. If you watched the game, you know exactly which play I’m talking about.

After making a heads-up steal from Bama, JaJuan Smith attempted to feed Tyler Smith with an alley-oop dunk, off of the backboard but instead allowed the ball to be intercepted by the Bammers, who proceeded to dance up the floor and score a quick 3-point basket.

There is no question that it was a bone-headed play. There is no question that JaJuan Smith saw the possibility for a SportsCenter highlight, and wanted to grab a piece of that action for the Vols. There is no question that the play — and its resulting 5-point swing — could have made a difference in the game. That’s not what I am here to debate.

The hub-bub about this play, however, arises not so much from the play itself, but rather from Bruce Pearl’s reaction. Instead of of pulling JaJuan out of the game — and give him some time to think about it on the bench — Coach Pearl left JaJuan on the floor, and merely spoke to him during a break in the action. A lot of folks have criticized Pearl for condoning this “showboat” behavior.

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I suppose this is a little off-topic, but as an XM Radio subscriber (Thanks Tennessee for switching from Sirius to XM, I really needed two satellite radios on different networks) the other night I was listening to Coach K’s show. Now don’t get me wrong, Coach K is one of the best college basketball coaches ever. Living over here in ACC territory, I can’t help but be aware of what a solid coach he is, and how he manages to keep Dook atop the ACC almost perpetually. All that said, whomever is in charge of selecting sports personalities for XM ought to be shot for putting him on the air.

Listening to Coach K talk is like having your intestines removed with a spoon, through your nose. His radio voice is awful, and his comments are so deadpan that it makes it almost impossible to get anything out of his show.

I’m probably in the minority on this — considering he’s making millions with a satellite radio audience and I’m here slumming it on my goofy little blog — but he could really use a little “coaching” himself when it comes to delivering radio content.

Not that any of you cared about my opinion…

- Go Figure …

I always thought that I had to pay a lot to the VASF for my season tickets in Knoxville, but I’ve decided that I may be getting a bargain.

As you may have heard, Jerry Jones the oh-so-cute-and-cuddly owner of the Dallas Cowboys is now building a new stadium for the Cowboys. This is not going to be your typical stadium, mind you, but rather a giant orgy of stadium construction — Texas style. With a price tag of 1 billion dollars, Jerry World is destined to be a virtual palace which will thrill the senses and boggle the mind. Given the scope of the amenities which will be included in the 80,000 seat structure, fans will be able to enjoy countless food offerings and numerous entertainment choices — including 3 suspended JumboTrons and a huge JumboTron facing out into the freakin’ parking lot. In fact, the current plan is to no longer even have the Cowboys play games, but rather simply allow fans to come to the stadium and bask in Jerry Jones’ magnificent greatness. That’s fine by me … I hate the Cowboys (with apologies to Jason Witten)
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In case you haven’t heard about it, the ESPN College Football Playoff Simulator is about the the coolest thing since the Single Wing… well, maybe not that cool, but it’s one of the best ways to waste time I’ve seen in a while. As others have suggested (See Loser With Socks and Fulmer’s Belly) You have got to go check it out.

On a more fundamental level, I find that I am slowly — but surely — coming around to being a fan of a playoff system. I never thought that I would find myself jumping on board for a playoff, but at this point there really seems to be little if any way to argue with the soundness of the idea. I used to be one of the many who swore that bowl games were simply too much of a tradition — and too important to the game to simply do away with. This season, however, has changed that.

This season has been one amazing rollercoaster ride. Every week there was another Top 10 team losing to someone they really shouldn’t have. There was no clearly dominant team or group of teams. The BCS selections made that fact all too apparent.

On ESPN’s Bowl Selection Love-in, it started bordering on the absurd. It seems inconceivable that we now have 32 Bowl Games! Now I am all for giving every school it’s fair chance to play on New Year’s (or sometime within 3 weeks of the New Year) but this is getting a little ridiculous. Do we really need to see my beloved Southwestern Alaskan State University of Veterinary Medicine and Applied Mechanical Engineering (SASUVMAE) take on Branson Institute of Technology and Cetacean Husbandry (BITCH) on December 2nd in in the Charmin Turd Bowl in Newark, New Jersey? I’m sorry, but some of these games are guaranteed to suck, and have been created solely for the purpose of giving ESPN something to put on television, local chambers of commerce something to “oooh” and “ahhh” over, and advertisers another way to waste their money trying to convince us to buy more stuff. We could do without about half of these games.

Going to a bowl used to really mean something and that was what made them so great. Of course, I guess it still does mean something to some teams — since I live in the heart of ACC (a/k/a the Arrogantly Crappy Conference) country, going to a bowl means that you aren’t a fan of the Tarheads or the Wolf Crap (I can’t make fun of Dook’s team — I figure they have enough problems with their Lacrosse team throwing keggers with whacked-out strippers to have to worry about a bowl game).

My point is, if everyone gets to go to a bowl, then going to a bowl is really nothing special, so a playoff wouldn’t change that.

Furthermore, all of the confusion over who was going to play in the BCS games was ridiculous. You’ve got a camp saying that tOSU should go, another saying that LSU deserved a shot, then there were the Dawgs of Georgia, Kansas, Southern Cal, West Virginia, Missouri, and so on. Of course, Granny Clampett Holtz was convinced that Oklahoma should not only play in the Fiesta Bowl, but also BCS Championship game, the Sugar Bowl, and the Association of Americans with Lawn Dart Injuries Foundation Bowl. The problem is — maybe with the exception of Lou — everyone was right … they just couldn’t “prove” it. There has to be a better way to determine a champion than what we’ve got at present. I’m not going to pretend that I know what that is (but the guys over at Alligator Army have a few ideas, and a few more), but a playoff seems awfully inviting in a season where there is no clear frontrunner, and everyone wants a piece of the action.

Of course, I suppose we could just let Oklahoma play with themselves and determine it that way… I’m sure Lou would have liked that.

— Go Figure … lawvol

Tags: BCS, Football Playoff, Rants from the Cheap Seats, Lou Holtz, Georgia Bulldogs, Oklahoma Sooners, USC Trojans, tOSU, Ohio State, College Football, Bowl Games, Charmin, Turd Bowl, ACC, Tarheads, Dook, Wolf Crap, Duke, UNC, NC State, Playoff Simulator, single wing, time wasters, whacked-out strippers, Granny Clampett

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