Posts Tagged ‘Mascots’

2009 CBS Sports BlogPoll Top 25 Ballot: Week 11

Here’s my ballot for this week’s CBS Sports BlogPoll Top 25 hosted by — as you might imagine — CBS Sports.

Week 11

Through 8 November 2009

This past weekend’s slate of college football games were—for the most part—supposed to be dull and boring.  There were very few “key” matchups on the schedule and most thought it might be a snoozer.  Well, that simply did not turn out to be the case.   Thus, there are a number of shake-ups in my BlogPoll Top 25 ballot for this week.  Most of these should be fairly obvious.  Either way, here is is:

My Ballot for the Week

Rank Team Delta
1 Alabama
2 Texas
3 Florida
5 Cincinnati 3
6 Ohio State 6
7 Georgia Tech 4
8 Pittsburgh 6
9 Southern Cal 4
10 Boise State
11 Miami (Florida) 6
12 Utah 6
13 Houston 2
14 LSU 8
15 Iowa 6
16 Penn State 11
17 Oregon 10
18 Oklahoma State 2
19 Arizona 2
20 Wisconsin 3
21 Brigham Young 3
22 South Florida 3
23 Virginia Tech NR
24 Navy NR
25 Auburn NR
Last week’s ballot
Dropped Out: Oklahoma (#16), Notre Dame (#19), California (#22).

Explanations after the jump…

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Big Orange Roundtable: Week 3

Check out the Roundtable Round-up with Joel’s Thoughts on our efforts (or lack there of) for this week…

This Week’s Roundtable Host: Rocky Top Talk

Onward and Upward!

This week’s Big Orange Roundtable is hosted by Joel over at Rocky Top Talk.

At present the roundtable includes: 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, Fulmer’s Belly, Gate 21, Rocky Top Talk, Loser With Socks, the World According to MoonDog (a/k/a MoonDog Sports), The Power T, Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain, and the SouthEastern Sports Blog. If you’d like to join, feel free to let us know. If you want more information on how the roundtable works, you can check out Ghost of Neyland’s wonderful introduction over at 3SIB.

Anyway, here are my thoughts for the week:

Week 3

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1) For some inexplicable reason, Phillip Fulmer invites Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Steve Spurrier, Nick Saban, Les Miles, and Tommy Tuberville over to his palatial estate for a dinner party. At 2:00 a.m. the next morning, The Papa discovers that Smokey IX has been murdered. Who did it, with what, and where? Think Clue. You know, Mr. Mustard in the parlor with the candlestick?

After dinner, Fulmer gave Smokey a few hot dogs from his private stash before heading upstairs with his bride, Vicky. After making it to the bedroom, Phillip decided that he wanted to grab a quick doughnut from his other private stash. While heading back toward the kitchen, he was confronted by the ghost of Bear Bryant who warned him that Smokey was in danger.

Shocked and frightened, Fulmer rushed downstairs to find Smokey lying on the floor, a half-eaten hot dog left lying by his side. Fulmer immediately called Lieutenant Columbo to investigate (after he ate the rest of the hot dog).

Once on the scene, Columbo began interviewing the others. Mark Richt claimed to be admiring himself in the mirror in his favorite bright red thong. Tubberville said he was adding another coat of shellac to his hair before retiring for the night. Saban claimed to be counting all the money he had fleeced from Alabama donors in his room. Meyer stated that he was siting with his legs crossed offering a burnt offering before his statue of Tim Tebow.  Les Miles had been carefully placing his hat in its protective case for the night. Finally, Spurrier claimed that he had been on the phone with a local sports-talk show under the pseudonym “Homer from Sequatchie County.

At first Columbo was stumped considering that all the alibis checked out. Then the case turned. Columbo discovered that Nick Saban had accidentally left his webcam running while counting his money on the bed. It had recorded sounds in the background which, at first seemed unrecognizable, but then when played at 300 times normal speed became understandable as a human speaking.

Columbo rushed downstairs, the others right on his heels, to find Ed Orgeron hiding in the bushes pretending to be a Maple tree. Fulmer grabbed Orgeron while Tubberville tied his hands, and Saban stole his wallet. Columbo put it to him straight.

So, it looks like we caught you…

I say, I say, I say, it war an assidunt. I’s was a jest a’chomin heah to talk to dis heah fine group ah koaches whahn I come up-pon da little puppah. I’s was ah jest a talkin’ to heam and a scrahathin’ heahs eaahs whan alla-da-suddin’ heah just collapsas. I say, I say I dohn’t know whaht heppened!

All of the sudden, Vicky Fulmer screamed… “Look!

Hey now, I wasn’t taking any money from anybody. I mean I was just standing here minding my own business…

Not you, Nick, look, Smokey’s back up and walking!” Vicky pointed to a dazed and groggy Smokey staggering from side to side.

Hallelujah, Tim be praised!  The omnisicent Tebow has looked down on this animal’s plight and blessed him. He has been raised from the dead!” Meyer exclaimed as he fell to his knees.

I don’t think so sir. Exactly how long were you talking to the dog, sir?” Columbo asked

Wheall, lessee… I’s ah’suhppose it was abaht fie-to-tenh mannutes. Yehsir.” Orgeron replied.

I think I’ve solved the case.” Columbo nodded to himself. “Mr. Foghorn … Orgeron here came to see about getting a job with these here coaches, but got distracted by the cute dog, and set upon lamenting his tale to the pooch. At first, Smokey was enjoying the attention, but then things started to get fuzzy and he collapsed. You see, all of the hot-air coming from Orgeron caused Smokey to temporarily lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. He wasn’t actually dead. His body just entered a state of suspended animation to avoid any more damage to his brain from what Ogeron was saying. There was no murder here…

Well that’s a relief, I had just assumed it was some of my players, and was trying to think up a lie to tell the media.” Spurrier chimed in.

Well, how do you explain the ghost of Bear Bryant that I saw upstairs?” Fulmer asked.

That was no ghost, that was Johnny Majors. He’d polished off a bottle of bourbon and was — well, overcome by a multitude of circumstances — which led him to think he was Bear Bryant. I’ve seen it before. Likely as not, he was just looking for some eggs to throw on your car.” they all nodded to themselves knowing this to be true.

Well, I suppose that wraps up my business here. You folks have a nice evening.” Columbo said as he shut his notebook.

Thank you so much Lieutenant, is there anything we can do to repay you?” asked Vicky Fulmer.

Just one thing ma’am — tell your husband to leave a few in the racks next time he and the coaching staff hit Krispy Kreme. The beat officers would appreciate it…

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A “Dawg-ed” Day for Georgia

Back from my whirlwind tour of, well, nowhere in particular, I am pleased to report that I am back at the helm of the ship here at Gate 21 … at least for the moment.

Anyway, moving right along…

Georgia Bulldogs FootballIn my absence from the blogosphere, (which both John McCain and Barack Obama jointly hailed as “Freakin’ Trippy!”) many things have occurred around the world of SEC sports, and beyond; not least of which included the death of Georgia Bulldogs mascot Uga VI.


The recently departed pooch was interred at Sanford Stadium yesterday in a vault where his predecessors were also laid to rest. A Baptist Minister presided over a memorial service attended by members of the athletic department, university administration, and others.

I am truly sad to hear that Uga has passed away. He is a great symbol of college football and one which resonates in the hearts and minds of many across the SEC. As an animal lover, I am sure he will be missed by many.

Still, is it just me or is it a tad odd to hold a memorial service of any kind — whether for man or dog — concluded by a prayer ending: “Sic ’em, Uga. Woof, woof! Amen.

I mean no disrespect for the Georgia faithful, Uga, dog lovers, or anyone. That just strikes me as being … well … a bit over-the-top.

Still, I am sorry to hear that Uga passed. There is something peculiarly endearing in watching a squat little white bulldog in a sweatshirt waddle his way around the endzone to take his place atop several bags of ice. I am sure that Uga VII will admirably fill the shoes — or paws, as the case may be — of the departed mascot, and look forward to seeing him mix it up with Smokey IX for seasons to come.

In other news from Athens…

Bulldogs offensive linemen Trinton Sturdivant and Justin Anderson were both arrested Monday night and charged with simple battery of a female. This brings the offseason arrest count at Georgia to six.

Fortunately, the soon-to-be-introduced Uga VII was not mentioned in the police report…

– Go Figure …Email lawvol

Image Courtesy of: UGA

Rumors of Lawvol’s Death are Greatly Exaggerated

No, I haven’t forgotten that I have a blog, simply running a bit behind these past few days. Hopefully, I’ll have something reasonably intelligent interesting funny … that is longer than 2 sentences in the next little while.

In the meantime, enjoy this little video of the Southern State Turducken’s mascot, who really knows how to … er … shake it:

Southern State University Turducken

Man, I bet his Mom’s is proud…

– Go Figure …

Smokey’s Found Something…

Dogs just love chew toys…


Go ahead, Smokey, chew all you want…

- Go Figure …

Tennessee Home for the Visually Offensive: Arizona Mascot is “In the Mood”

The Arizona Mascot showing more tail than usual. Too funny … Mascot porn!
YouTube Preview Image

— Go Figure … lawvol

Video Courtesy of: 100% Injury Rate and Epic Carnival

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