Posts Tagged ‘Blowhard’

In case you hadn’t heard, the United States Congress has been hard at work lately—tackling the hard-hitting issues that our country is facing.  Our representatives in the House have been addressing monumental concerns impacting the daily lives of all Americans far and wide.  What, you might ask, is the single most important question in the minds of Representatives Joe Barton (R-TX), Neil Abercrombie (D-HI), Lynn Westmoreland (R-GA) and Mike Simpson (R-ID)?

Whether the BCS / Bowl system for determining NCAA football championships needs to be replaced by a playoff system.

As a result, these congressmen introduced a House Resolution in April seeking to have the United States Congress and the United States Department of Justice investigate the Bowl Championship Series.  In particular, this obscenely overstated meaningful legislation resolves that the House of Representatives:

(1) rejects the BCS system as an illegal restraint of trade that violates the Sherman Anti-Trust Act;

(2) demands the United States Department of Justice Antitrust Division investigate and bring appropriate action to have the BCS system declared illegal and require a playoff to determine a national champion; and

(3) supports the establishment of an NCAA Division I Football Bowl Subdivision Championship playoff system in the interest of fairness and to bring parity to all NCAA teams.

• 111th Congress, House Resolution 68

Heavy stuff, that…

As a result of the tireless grandstanding efforts of these shameless self-promoters champions of the common man, the Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection held hearings this past week to look into the actions of the BCS in hopes of determining whether something nefarious is afoot.  This included taking testimony from: John Swofford (Commissioner of the Atlantic Coast Conference and Coordinator of the Bowl Championship Series), Craig Thompson (Commissioner of the Mountain West Conference), Derrick Fox (President and CEO of the Valero Alamo Bowl), and Gene Bleymaier (Athletic Director of Boise State University).

For those of you out there that hate yourselves, you can view a streaming video of the entire hearing through the committee website.  Note: Apparently the Congressional muckety-mucks are too busy to hire someone schooled in the basic art of video editing.  Thus, you will want to fast forward to approximately 19:45 to view the hearing (that is, unless you just enjoy watching a blank screen for almost 20 minutes).

During the hearing, the Committee specifically looked into whether the BCS amounted to a monopoly, running afoul of federal anti-trust provisions.  With the great all-encompassing seriousness that can only come from the stuffed shirts of Congress and with the aire of the Watergate hearings, the committee set about digging deep into the bowels of college football’s deep dark secret.  Having watched some of the video of the hearing, it was obvious, in the minds of some of the assembled officials, that they felt the very sanctity of our American Republic hung precariously in the balance.

Right…

Don’t get me wrong, I am not opposed to the idea of a college football playoff, in fact I would gladly support such a system—so long as it is fair.  The disdain that is oozing from this article comes not from my opposition to the notion that college football needs a playoff, but rather from the nauseating belief by those in Congress that they are the answer to this problem.  Oh yeah, there is also the minor fact that the entire nation is passed out from the H1N1 flu in the economic toilet of the world with chunks of last night’s General Motors and Wall Street flavored hot dog still clinging to its mouth while these clueless egomaniacs are wasting their time trying to determine how we end our football seasons.

I’d love to sit around in a fancy conference room with hospitality service and get paid to talk football all day as much as the next guy, there’s no denying that.  The thought that our Congressional leaders have nothing better to do than just that, is more than a little bothersome.  The fact that they can do it with a straight face while purporting to represent the best interests of their constituents, makes me think of three words: “explosive projectile vomiting.”  I suppose that this sentiment is precisely what led CBS Sports.com’s Dennis Dodd to note that “Retching is common for these kinds of mundane Capitol Hill gatherings.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Alright, I admit I have been a little absent and not just a little bent out of shape over the fact that I have been completely unable to post anything of substance lately due to my “real” job as an evidence manipulation specialist (lawyer).  Hence my last post.  What’s more, this has been a very exciting week for fans of the Big Orange, as Tennessee named Lane Kiffin its new head football coach.  Despite all of the fanfare, I spent my week in a courtroom, and failed to get a single decent comment out in a timely fashion.

Again, hence my last post…

That said, after watching a few video clips, most notably the one below, I am feeling much more relaxed and much happier.  Why?  Because, I am beginning to think that maybe Smiling Mike has done it again.

Lane Kiffin’s First Press Conference as Tennessee Head Football Coach

I’ll be the first to admit, Lane Kiffin wasn’t the number one name on my list—but make no mistake he was on it.  Still, in the back of my mind I wondered “is Mike Hamilton rushing into things?  I just don’t know if I would have been in such a rush.”

Then I remembered two key things:

1. I picked the Auburn Tigers to win the SEC West and the Tennessee Volunteers to finish second in the SEC East this year; and
2. Bruce Pearl.

Those two realizations gave me a moment of pause and suddenly gave me real confidence in the decision to hire Lane Kiffin as the head football coach at Tennessee.

The first point reminded me that I am a moron and that my skills as a prognosticator and student of college football are about as reliable as Eric Locke was as a receiver (or kick returner, or cheerleader, or ditch digger, or…).  Furthermore, it reminded me that there is an awful lot of guesswork in the business or picking coaches.  Which led me to point number two.

Smiling Mike dares you to make fun of his shirt

As I wrote some time ago while serving as a stand-in guest writer over at Joel’s venerable pillar of the Fifth Estate, on the day Bruce Pearl was introduced as Men’s Basketball coach the first thing I asked myself was “who the hell is Bruce Pearl?”  Well, suffice it to say that I now know who Bruce Pearl is, and I’m pretty sure the rest of the basketball loving inhabitants of the country do now as well.  The point is this: love him or hate him, over the last few years Mike Hamilton has shown an uncanny ability to find coaches about as well as anyone in the world of college sports, and as a result, I’m willing to trust his decision.

I think Hamilton has earned that.

Furthermore, what I have seen so far from Coach Kiffin (does kind of have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?) has thoroughly impressed me.  The video above was especially telling for me.  Why?  Because Kiffin does not talk about “the passion of Tennessee’s fans” or “the tradition they have here.”   No, instead—about ten minutes after he was named head coach—he comments on “the passion of our fans” and “the tradition we have here.”

I know, I know, I’m sure the folks in the Sports Information office reminded him to project that message, but you know what, it seemed pretty sincere to me…

I realize taking “ownership” verbally is a small detail—one which can be overstated—but it impressed me.  I honestly expected the typical “NFL-style” quasi-corporate speech about future, direction, and leadership.  I expected his opening foray with the press to be far less personal than it was.  Given my concerns that the “family” aspect of Tennessee football might fade away with the departure of the Great Punkin, this really did my heart good.  It also made it clear that Coach Kiffin understands that we happy few, we band of brothers, who wear the Orange are sort of “into” that whole “Tradition” thing.

All I can say is that I first looked at the hiring of Coach Kiffin with a lot of hope and expectation, and a near equal amount of concern and reticence.  After seeing how he has handled himself so far, it’s fair to say that I have been impressed.

Yeah, I’ve got me a great big pitcher of the proverbial Kool-Aid, and I’m chugging it down through a garden hose…

I guess that is why I felt led to say hello to Coach Kiffin visually—in the header here at the Gate—rather than simply saying “Oh, um, yeah we got us a coach.”

No matter what I may have thought about the past, I am pretty convinced that Coach Kiffin is the the right man to guide Tennessee into the future.

Which leads me to the seemingly inane title of this post.

I will be the first to admit that I am not a huge fan of professional sports and while I typically follow the NFL playoffs in a limited sense, I can hardly be said to keep up with the league.  There are a lot of reasons for this, but the end result is that I am often less than informed when it comes to the guys that play on Sunday.  Thus, the only real understanding I had when it came to Coach Kiffin was that he had been fired as head coach of the Los Angeles … err … Oakland … Los Ang … Los Oaklesland Raiders mid-season.  I didn’t really hold this against him, because I realize how fickle NFL owners can be.  Furthermore, I hardly felt like I had enough background knowledge to really even understand why he was fired (I had to check just to confirm whether the Raiders were in Los Angeles or Oakland this year).

Still, I knew that something hadn’t worked out the way it had been planned…

Then, I stumbled upon this little jewel:

Al Davis on the Firing of Lane Kiffin

This video really confirmed a few things for me:

• Skeletor is real;

• The Raiders will never win much of anything until that nut-job of an owner they have gives it up;
• Anytime a coach is fired and respected journalists write things like this, it’s probably not the coach’s fault the team is sucking the tubes:

Al Davis’ once-proud franchise has won 19 games since appearing in the 2002 Super Bowl (or one more than the Patriots won in 2007) and better days seemed even more remote in January. That’s when the modest momentum built under new head coach Lane Kiffin in 2007 was flushed when it was learned Davis wanted Kiffin gone because Kiffin wanted to, ya know, coach the team…

– Tom Curran | NBC Sports

• Coach Kiffin’s record as an NFL head coach is of little concern to me considering the situation he inherited; and

• Bea Arthur really should stop wearing those silly black leather jackets and sweatshirts when giving press conferences.

Al Davis?

Bea Arthur?

So, is Betty White currently the defensive coordinator for the Raiders, or is it one of the other Golden Girls?

Anyway, the point of this rambling post is simply to say, that I am thrilled to have Lane Kiffin on board as the newest member of the Tennessee family.  So far, I have been amazingly impressed with the way he has jumped in headfirst at Tennessee.  Most of all, however, I am happy with how he seems to really want be at Tennessee as opposed to simply biding his time.

Of course, I realize that he has not yet completed his first full week as head coach.  Still, all I can say is that—so far—it seems like Smiling Mike Hamilton may have gotten it right…again!

Either way, Coach Kiffin, I mean it sincerely when I say “Welcome to the Family!”

Oh yeah, and, Go Vols!

– Go Figure …

Images Courtesy of: Knoxville News Sentinel • SA Blogs • BroadwayWorld.com • NBC Sports / Getty Images

Despite the fact that basketball season has been over for nearly a month now, Geno Auriemma just can’t let it go…

Apparently, Geno simply couldn’t fight the urge to run his mouth one last time. At a press conference wrapping up the 2007-08 season, Geno jumped on the chance to get in a dig on Pat Summitt over the cancellation of the regular season Tennessee vs. Connecticut series and “Tour-gate.” Nevermind the fact that — since the season is over and the UConn Huskies weren’t around as one of the last two teams standing — no one gives two shits about his opinion at this point. Geno, being his usual blowhard self, went straight ahead and got those gums a-flappin’

I don’t have to say anything. Pat knows. She knows why we’re not playing. There’s nothing for me to say. I’m not the one that made the decision not to play. So she should just tell you why instead of saying, ‘Geno knows.’ I do know. I already told you. She accused us of cheating at recruiting. She doesn’t have the courage to say it publicly. So yeah, Geno does know. And I’ve said it.

. . .

There’s a lot of things I know about a lot of people. That doesn’t mean I cancel the series. This is the same person who said if the Duke fans didn’t treat her players right, she was going to cancel that series.

Auriemma went on to add that he would only resume the series under favorable circumstances:

It would have to be eight games here, one in Nashville and one in Memphis; that would be my proposal to them. That’s the only way I would do it.

Sounds to me as if Geno is simply trying to grab a little bit of publicity for his team — perhaps in hopes that the hype will prevent some poor recruit from realizing what an arrogant tool he is. The fact remains, however, that the gap between he and Pat Summit is only getting wider, and each dumb comment on his part only serves to make him look like more of a sour-grapes jackass than he already does.

I mean, really, Geno, who gives a damn right now? What relevance does this have to anything other than stroking your ego?

To her credit, Pat Summitt’s response was as appropriate as it was direct. Summitt simply stated:

It’s absolutely not worth a comment.

I imagine that if she had been responding directly to Geno — face to face — her words might have been more … pointed.

Don Imus, on the other hand chimed right in stating:

Auriemma’s tirade sounded like some whacked-out ghetto crack whore looking for a trick and some smack… **

Shortly thereafter, Imus followed-up this comment by indicating that he would be changing his name, undergoing plastic surgery, and moving to Paraguay. **

One way or the other, Auriemma is already cementing his position as the early front runner for the “2008-09 Women’s College Basketball Massengill Douchebag of the Year Award.”

Way to go Geno, once again you’ve outdone yourself…

In other Basketball news, the folks over at Hugging Harold Reynolds have made a breakthrough in the battle to combat global warming and environmental degradation, which links these problems directly to the NBA.

Who knew?

– Go Figure …

Quotes Courtesy of: GoVolsXtra • Images Courtesy of: SI.com & The Phoenix

**Disclaimer: As if it were not completely obvious, the quote from Don Imus is complete crap and is purely a creation of the unbalanced mind of the author. That quote is a fictional humorous depiction (a/k/a “Fark”), intended as satire, of Don Imus and his prior statements about “Nappy-Headed-Hos,” and does not reflect the views or position of Mr. Imus. Neither this posting, those who created it, nor this blog are in anyway affiliated with the Don Imus. So please don’t have your lawyers send me a bunch of nasty letters…

All other quotes in this article are — to the best of the author’s knowledge — accurate

Well, after the little slip versus the Kentucky Wildcats, Bruce and the Barbarians are back at No 4 in the land in both the AP and ESPN/USA Today polls.

More importantly, at present ESPN’s Joe Lunardi projects the BasketVols to be a No 1 seed in the West Region — which means that they would open the NCAA tournament in Birmingham versus Lamar before progressing toward Phoenix. I’m going to show my ignorance — where exactly is Lamar, or is Lunardi predicting that the Vols will play former Tennessee blowhard Lamar Alexander (Although I guess he is still a blowhard … I hope he wears his plaid shirt!!!)?

Thus one game looming in the not-so-distant future becomes all the more important: the contest against the Memphis Tigers on 23 February in Memphis. If the Vols can beat the (currently) No 1 Tigers, then it seems difficult to imagine a poll where the BasketVols are not the No 1 team in the country. That is especially true considering that Tarhead U and Dook both have to play one another a second time, and one of them has to lose.

Of course, for that to even matter, the Vols must remain focused and tend to the task of continuing to win against the rest of their SEC opponents — next target the Arkansas Razorbacks on Wednesday, 13 February at 8:00 at the Tommy Bowl. The Vols still have a lot of basketball to play before the get to Memphis, but if they take care of business, they could be sitting in an awfully good position come tournament time.

In the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy the No 4 ranking, thus, I thought this little flashback to my childhood was appropriate. Hope you approve…

Go Vols, Beat the Piggies!!!

– Go Figure …