Archive for the ‘Big Orange Roundtable’ Category

It’s Bama Week

No Alabama-Tennessee week would be complete without a Big Orange Roundtable, and the Vols over at Third Saturday in Blogtober have been gracious enough to include us in a joint roundtable with their Bammer counterparts in a Orange/White/Crimson Roundtable.

Two side notes: first, if you haven’t been reading the loads of great stuff over at 3SIB, please do so NOW. Never has there been such a great place to see so much good-natured trash talk as there has been over there this week. Second, if you’re looking for the On Remote post, don’t worry: it’s coming tomorrow.

Anyways, to this week’s great questions, which oddly enough have a dominant Stars Wars theme. I’m proud (and comfortable enough with myself) to say that I absolutely loved Star Wars in my elementary school days when the three original movies were “remade.” I had everything – books, action figures of all sizes, models, playsets, etc. – you name it, I probably had it. Seriously, Star Wars was just plain awesome to me (keep word there being was) back in those days.

So of course I quite a laugh out of these week’s questions, and the answers so far have been pretty good. I’ll try to do what I can to keep them up. Anyways…

Death Star

1. Both teams at some point or another have been described as an Evil Empire. If your team is the Death Star, what is it’s planet-destroying weapon?

This is a no-brainer: Eric Freaking Berry. He is a human missile, whether it’s closing in on any throw by the opposing QB or the helpless ballcarrier breaking into the second level. Seriously, you see this aspect of Berry’s game pretty well when you sit at field level a couple times like I have the past two home games.

Berry already destroyed a few things this year, like Knowshon Moreno and Mississippi State specifically. I can’t wait to see who is next (Julio Jones? Glen Coffee?  J.P. Wilson? Rolando McClain?). If Tennessee had 22 Eric Berrys, the Vols would beat the Titans (are the Tennessee Titans really the NFL’s best team?? seriously??) by 30 points – and that’s on an off day.

Get owned Knowshon

Berry is a special special player. A once-in-a-lifetime type player. And he’s just a sophomore. He still has half his career left – assuming he stays four years. And as of this week I’m one of his over 3,300 friends on Facebook…

More like fifty-meter wide for Tennessee

2. What is its two meter wide exhaust port?

Easily the toughest question this week…where do I start? At first it was the QB play. That’s changed. Then it was special teams (I bet we punt to Javier Arenas Saturday night too). Britton’s back now. Then it was the running back rotation. Lennon Creer was the leading rusher against Mississippi State. At times it’s the schemes in the secondary. The Vols had two pick-sixes and gave up 3 points last week.

I guess that leaves me with the offensive line. It doesn’t matter who you put at running back if the line can’t open up any holes. With Anthony Parker potentially out Saturday night, the line becomes really thin. For all the hype these guys got in the preseason, they have to be the biggest disappointment, right?

Here’s to hoping it stops Saturday night. Terrence Cody is now out, so that helps tremendously. This line needs to just get pissed off and blow Bama up in the trenches. It’s going to be a real challenge, but I think these guys are capable. I mean, have you seen Vlad Richard? Jacques McClendon benches over 600 pounds. It’s not like Ramon Foster and Chris Scott are little guys, either…

My weak attempt at my first fark: Darth Saban...man do we need Lawvol back or what??

3. Everyone is looking forward to Eric Berry vs. Julio Jones. What is the next matchup you’ll be keying on in this game?

In the trenches. Bammer has been really studly along the lines in both of their best games this year, the win over Clemson and the first half battering of Georgia in Athens last month. Tennessee in the trenches? Ehh…

Surprisingly, the defensive front hasn’t played that bad. They had Tyson Lee running for his life last weekend (perhaps giving them a confidence boost), knocked NIU’s QB out and were everywhere against Auburn as well. Unfortunately, Alabama is none of those. Georgia pushed the Vols around, but that had as much to do with the fact the Tennessee defense played 80 snaps than anything else, really.

Alabama has the best offensive line that Tennessee has faced to this point. If they can slow down the Tide rushing attack and get some hurries on Wilson, it greatly enhances Tennessee’s chances for the win. Obviously that’s easier said than done, but it’s not impossible by any means.

I’ve already discussed the other side of the trenches coin in Question #3, so I won’t go much into that. But Tennessee will have to run the ball to have a prayer of winning Saturday night. Can they do it?

4. The Tide and Vols will scrap it out under the lights at Neyland. Do you like this arrangement and does the later kickoff time provide an advantage to either team?

I would imagine if any advantage comes from the time of the game itself, it’s Tennessee, simply because naturally night SEC games are supposedly louder than earlier games. Or so says the theory – I might just be reaching, looking for anything to increase my very slim hopes that the Vols don’t get run out of the stadium…

Seriously, though, the crowd – those that have been there (only my fellow idiot students have been lacking, leaving over 1,000 for the Bammers), at least – has been pretty into the past two night games for a MAC team and a bottom-level SEC team. If they aren’t amped up for freakin’ Alabama, then…well I don’t even think that’s possible. How long before the Tide crush any hope is the real key…

As for if I like this arrangement, that’s just silly. Of course!! Tailgating and gamedays are one of favorite aspects of being here in Knoxville and being in college. And now I get to enjoy it for probably something like 8 hours Saturday.

Advantage – me!

5. Since the Tide had a bye week and the Vols didn’t bother to play that weekend either (zing!) we’re going to say this is the Third Saturday in October just to justify the name of one of the greatest rivalries in college football. In three thousand words or less, turn over the kettles of white-hot liquid hate upon thine enemy.

I believe that (a) I already addressed this yesterday and (b) I certainly went over the 3,000 word limit. So I’ll just take the easy, slacker way out and link it. CLICK HERE!!!

Update: by Lawvol…

Hopefully, HSH won’t take it personally that I am adding to his post, but he did call me out on the fark of Saban.

Thus, here are my humble additions to the Star Wars Edition:

Can the Jedi Prevail?

-OR-

Will Darkness Take Control?

The Rest of the Roundtable is linked here. Please go read their answers, their’s are probably better than mine – though I did like my answer to #4 (and it brought some great comments). Hopefully Lawvol can get a chance to post his own as comments – this is his site after all…

- 3SIB
- Curveballs For Jesus
- Fulmer’s Belly
- YMSWWC
- SESB

Images Courtesy of: Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images (Daylife)

It’s Baaaaaaaaaacckkkkkk!!

As a result of the disappointing 2-3 start for our beloved Vols, the Roundtable for a week (and longer here ate Gate 21) sort of died, much like our hopes for a great season.

While our hopes are slim none, the Roundtable treads on, thanks to CincyVol over at 3SIB, who offers up a trio of questions this week for our reading and enjoyment. Perhaps we can inspire our Vols as they travel to Athens this weekend, where I don’t care how bad we we are, I hope we beat the snot out of UGA and their crap fans. More on that later today…

Anyways, here are the questions, and my answers (hopefully lawvol can stop by and leave his answers as well)…

Much has been made of Nick Stephens and his performance Saturday. Give your opinion on the job he did and what you think is in store for his future.

Improvement? Yes, but I will wait for the Georgia game to pass judgment on the play of Nick Stephens

I’ll go ahead and go on about my entire NIU thoughts while answering this question. OK, Nick Stephens was better, and you can’t deny that fact. However, the offense still scored just 13 points, but I attribute that to the poor offensive line play, which I attribute to Vlad Richard’s absence (we run well when he plays). With no running game and an iffy pass rush, Stephens did well, and lo and behold we threw the ball down the field. Hope there’s more of that…

Before we all get too excited, it was Northern Illinois. The rest of our schedule – save Wyoming – are much stiffer competition than the pesky Huskies. Stephens has been better than Jonathan Crompton, but we’ll see, starting in Athens this Saturday and the rest of October. The jury’s still out for me.

The other issues with our offense: Montario Hardesty and Lennon Creer need more touches. I said this last week. Problem is, so did the coaches. And Creer carried the ball as many times as I did, and I was on the front row (almost caught an errant Husky pass too).

I like Arian Foster. He’s just not our best option. Against NIU, he can get it done (he has scored 6 TDs on UGA the past two years…), but SEC defense are all over him. Hardesty is physical and doesn’t tip-toe. Creer has the scary good mix of power and speed. I’ve said this before as well, why not put two of them in at once? Novel concept…

People have said our WRs aren’t good enough/can’t get separation/blah blah blah, and that’s garbage. Do we have Plaxico Burresses (the top WR on my fantasy team) running around? No. But Lucas Taylor was a 1,000-yard guy. Briscoe works well in the slot. Denarius Moore needs more looks. He’s a deep threat, pretty much the only WR Tennessee has with that ability.

Defensively, I love the effort. I know NIU lost their starting QB and were limited, but this D is playing well. Hopefully Ellix Wilson will be 100% for this weekend…

As Eric Berry continues to impress what do you think is the greatest part of his game?

Eric Berry owns. He’s everywhere. You’ve seen my avatar. How he didn’t take that pick Saturday night to the house I’ll never know. He probably can’t believe he didn’t take it. Dude’s really, really good. I do wanna see him on offense, just once. Just once.

Like Tyler Donovan, I have no clue how UCLA WR Taylor Embree survived getting smacked by #14

To specifically answer the question, I love every aspect of his game. He just makes plays. When he does get his hands on the ball, my first thought every time is that he’s going to score. And it’s going to awesome. And make SportsCenter’s Top 10. He’s an incredible talent.

Britton Colquitt returns from suspension this week, so saying that, how big of a difference will he have on the special teams part of the game?

Finally, it won’t take 5 seconds for Tennessee to get a punt off. Chad Cunningham had some great kicks, but he was terribly slow. Hence the block at UCLA (though it doesn’t matter if you don’t block any rushers) and the partial block NIU had Saturday night. Also, I hope Britton kicks every kickoff – the few we have every game – into the tenth row in the endzones. Since we’re likely gonna be punting more than kicking off with our offensive deficiencies, he’s a potential game-changer in terms of reversing field position. Obviously that didn’t work (see Auburn), but I gotta think the offense is going to improve at some point.

Here’s the other participating members for the Roundtable this week. Enjoy!

- 3rd Saturday
- Curveballs For Jesus
- YSWWC
- Losers With Socks

Images Courtesy of: Wade Payne / AP (Daylife) • Harry How / Getty Images (Daylife)

Round-Up: It’s Football Time Again

My first week as the host of the totally awesome Big Orange Roundtable has come to a close, and I thoroughly enjoyed doing it. Actually, the Big Orange Roundtable has just completed it’s first run-through of all the Vol bloggers and it starts back up next week over at Yo’ Mama Slept With Big Wilt. I’m sure Thomas will have some excellent questions as it’s Florida week.

GOOD WORK EVERYONE!!

Enough of me, time for me to share the Roundtable’s answers. Since we’re all family here on the Roundtable and I’m just a nice guy, I’m going to include everyone in the round-up. You’re welcome…

(1) So we’re all still pissed off from losing to a UCLA team we would without a doubt beat at worst eight times out of 10, and now a pretty bad UAB team comes to Knoxville before the epic showdown with Florida and the rest of the SEC gauntlet – the deep breath before the plunge, if you will. What I simply want to know is what do YOU want to see from the Vols this Saturday?

Most of the answers to this question involved three things: (1) running the football, (2) some reason to feel positive about Jonathan Crompton, and (3) better coaching.

The always funny Jai Eugene at LWS wants better hands from the receivers (and Arian Foster). Thomas at YMSWWC used this question as an opportunity to bash RayCom’s three Daves. MoonDog wants the coaches to show that they actually can adjust in-game. Ghost over at 3SIB wants our offensive line to find their male parts and lead the way to an unstoppable running attack.

Much like Ghost, Will at SESB wants a reason to believe…and to pound the football only as to prepare for the Florida showdown next Saturday. New Roundtable member Patrick (what a great name!) at C4J uses his days of living in the B’ham and makes it personal: he wants to kick the Blazers while they’re down with a 65-point beatdown an old-fashioned ass-whoopin’.

(2) Flashback to Saturday night in Gainesville: up 23-3, Florida gets a good punt return by Brandon James inside the Miami 20. With 1:56 left, Urban Meyer sends Tim Tebow back in, and, after a screen pass, a throw into the endzone, and a lost-yardage run, Florida kicks a sand-in-the-face field goal with :25 left, prompting a death stare from Cane coach Randy Shannon and eventually a “handshake” at midfield after the game. Thoughts?

I have to be honest, I asked this question for the sole purpose of bashing Urban Meyer and watching others do it too. I hate Urban Meyer. Ghost also hates Nick Saban, but respects him. Urban? Not so much. Thomas calls Urban an asshole. Patrick does wish Randy Shannon had punched Urban’s face off. Jai? He makes the Gators/Patriots comparison.

MoonDog and Will took the higher road and didn’t express dislike for Urban Meyer or his move, with good reasoning. MoonDog points out the Gators’ recent fails against Miami and sending the message that Florida is the state’s best team as good enough reason to kick the field goal. Will went all sneaky – he says Miami should act like it’s not big deal on the outside, but use it for motivation to build up to the next meeting with the Gators and exact revenge then.

(3) And finally, a question that I’m not sure has been so directly asked in the course of the Roundtable, but one that needs answering: the “woo” in Rocky Top…do you “woo” and why do/don’t you “woo”?

This question sparked quite a bit of debate, as I thought. We actually had a comment on Gate 21 saying a trumpet player back in ‘92/’93 “woo”ed once. The band caught on and started doing it, then the stadium followed and the rest is history. Whether that’s true or not, the “woo” has been a part of Rocky Top as long as I can remember. But the consensus on the Roundtable? The “woo” sucks.

Thomas says “woo”ing is only for Ric Flair (see below…). MoonDog wants to shoot the aforementioned trumpet player for starting it. Patrick went with the gutsy admission of his love of the “woo,” expressing his inner Mike Gundy. Will? admits he enjoys the “woo,” but also defaulted to Ghost, whose answer was nothing short of epic…

This is going to bring into question my manhood, but I’m OK with that. I’m confident in my sexuality, but I must answer this with a story.

My wife — Mrs. Ghost — is a beautiful but immature lady. I love her, but she’s a Bama fan, No. 1, and No. 2, she absolutely loves 1980s music. Now, I’m not talking about the Thompson Twins, Howard Jones, Africa and all the tolerable stuff. No, no, no. My wife loves the New Kids on the Block. (I have another name for them … Yes, it’s the same as yours.) Well, Mrs. Ghost has been beside herself about the release of NKOTB’s new album — which since I download … er… bought, she HATES by the way — because she loved, loved, LOVED that new song about the Girls of Summer, or something like that.

So, I got the CD for her Sunday afternoon and on the way to church that night, she proceeds to pop in the CD and play the song that is on the radio right now. It is a terrible song with no vocal quality at all, but it’s got a catchy beat. Now, when I say that sentence right there, my wife says, “You know you like it.” And I hate it. The “B-A-N-A-N-A-S” song by Gwen Stefani was horrible. The “My Humps” song is my least favorite song of all-time. Going back even further, I despise “Love Shack” by the B-52’s. But it’s those songs — THOSE HORRIBLE SONGS — that get in your head. So, sure enough, when we were waiting for preaching to start standing on the front porch, I began humming the song. My wife gets a little half-smile, looks at me sideways and says, “See, you DO like that song.” I wanted to punch her.

Anyway, all that brings me to this: I’m completely and whole-heartedly against the WOO! in Rocky Top. I hate it. I think it’s stupid. If we wanted a stupid cheer, we’d have adopted Two Bits from the Gators or not let Ole Miss steal “Hotty Toddy” from us. I hate stupidity. And the “WOO” is our stupidity.

But, but, but in the heat of the moment after we score a touchdown and we’re dancing in the aisles and high-fiving complete strangers and clapping, I’ve caught myself WOOING before. I’m completely and abashedly ashamed. My fandom should be revoked.

That said, I hope there are thousands of WOOs! come Saturday.

Ghost, that took guts. Jai, not to be outdone, gives us his own history of the “woo,” and discusses how 14 year-old girls view the “woo.” I’m still laughing at his answer.

As I commented on 3SIB, I think everybody – even the toughest of the “tough” guys – deep, deep, down, knows they have “woo”ed before – they’re just in denial. And as my last act as Roundtable host, I’m going to plain straight overload on the “woo”…

Guys, it’s been fun. Maybe lawvol – who also answered my questions here – will let me answer next week…

Big Orange Roundtable: Week 10

It was supposed to be my turn to host the continuing Roundtable over at my old site (The View From The Hill), but obviously I’m no longer there. Nevertheless, I’m sticking to my repsonsibility and I’m just running it from my not-so-new place here at Gate 21.

I’ll try not to complain about not having a bad week – with “mighty” UAB coming up after a bye week…after a loss to a middling Pac-10 team…on national TV… – and just do my job: ask some questions, answer them, and hope the rest of the Roundtable members remember (I have faith they will).

Alright, here’s my trio of questions…

(1) So we’re all still pissed off from losing to a UCLA team we would without a doubt beat at worst eight times out of 10, and now a pretty bad UAB team comes to Knoxville before the epic showdown with Florida and the rest of the SEC gauntlet – the deep breath before the plunge, if you will. What I simply want to know is what do YOU want to see from the Vols this Saturday?

First and foremost, nobody gets hurt. We’re an untimely injury at a couple of different positions away from being in some hot water before getting into the SEC. We’re gonna need to be as healthy as possible to avoid disaster.

Offensively, I just want to see better execution. For example, how about we give the ball to Arian Foster and Montario Hardesty oh, say, about 40+ times, or until we’re up comfortably? Don’t even use the G-Gun – save it for Florida. I wouldn’t care how “vanilla” the playcalling is – Tennessee should be able to just run over, through, and around UAB (For a brief look at UAB, click here and scroll down…to the very bottom)

For Jonathan Crompton, just give Tennessee fans some hope that you’re gonna be able to get it done…as in not one-hopping balls to wide-open receivers and pretending to be throwing to Yao Ming.

Defensively, some adjustments in case UAB starts moving the ball against the Vols (they shouldn’t). UAB shouldn’t score double-digits on offense and a shutout would be nice. Like Crompton, just give the fans some hope that stopping the Gates is possible.

All this said, I expect a boring game where we play around with the Blazers for a little while before finally pulling away. We hardly blow any non-Sun Belt people away anymore, and though UAB lost to a Sun Belt team last week, we’ll probably “take it easy” on them.

(2) Flashback to Saturday night in Gainesville: up 23-3, Florida gets a good punt return by Brandon James inside the Miami 20. With 1:56 left, Urban Meyer sends Tim Tebow back in, and, after a screen pass, a throw into the endzone, and a lost-yardage run, Florida kicks a sand-in-the-face field goal with :25 left, prompting a death stare from Cane coach Randy Shannon and eventually a “handshake” at midfield after the game. Thoughts?

I hope to see some interesting answers for this one (or at least better than mine). Some say he had no other choice. Other use the “BCS Beauty Pageant” argument as if beating Miami 26-3 instead of 23-3 will make that much more of a difference in determining Florida’s postseason fate. Yet others say it was for the south Florida/Miami-area recruits who were in attendance – yeah not sure that is workin’ for ya, Urban. And finally some say he did it for the betting Gators (the kick covered the spread).

Miami coach Randy Shannon clearly wanted to slug Urban Meyer for that late field goal...he should have

I’ll say two things about this: first, say what you want but Urban ran it up on Tennessee last year, though fortunately I was out of the Swamp when he was doing it. That doesn’t really sit well with me and I’m sure our coaches and players remember. I’m not a fan of running it up unnecessarily. Now if you’re scoring with your backups that’s one thing, but when you put your starters in up 20 and try to score, that’s egotistical and annoying.

Secondly, this will backfire on him soon enough – it has to. Someone really important to the Gates will get hurt and people will unleash on him a la Mike Shula with Tyrone Prothro in 2005 (though hopefully nothing that awful happens to anybody).

(3) And finally, a question that I’m not sure has been so directly asked in the course of the Roundtable, but one that needs answering: the “woo” in Rocky Top…do you “woo” and why do/don’t you “woo”?

I pretty much never “woo” simply because I just don’t like it. Me “woo”ing is like an eclipse – it’s just not something I do. As for why, I just don’t like the addition. It takes away from the beautiful song that is Rocky Top. It seems too sorority girl-ish, though I’m all about the sorority girls…well, uh, some of them. I have no idea how or when it started, but whoever thought it was cool probably wasn’t.

I will say this about the “woo”: fans from other SEC schools hate the song, and if the “woo” was originally meant to be even more annoying, then it was good idea. But I sincerely doubt that’s the case…

As the Roundtable goes, as the other Vol blogs respond to my lousy questions, check back and I’ll have them linked:
- Third Saturday in Blogtober
- SESB
- YMSWWC
- MoonDog Sports
- NEW MEMBER!! Curveballs for Jesus
- Losers With Socks

Images Courtesy of: AP / John Raoux

This Week’s Roundtable is hosted by: Loser With Socks

A Day Late, and a Dollar Short…

This week’s Big Orange Roundtable is hosted by Jai Eugene over at Loser With Socks.  As has been the case for most of my life over the past few months, I am running behind, so I’ll get right down to it.

Here are my thoughts for the week:

Week 8

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1)  In a perfect world, what time would your UCLA Kick-off start?

I’m with Thomas over at YMSWWC in wishing for a 7:00 pm EST start.  I know that there are a lot of folks that live out on the left coast, and that they’d rather not have the game start at 4:00 pm their time, but … well … they should’ve thought of that before moving out there.

Besides 90% of the people who are actually going to watch the game will be from SEC Country anyway.  Of the remaining 10%, aside from UCLA’s 3 real fans and Rick Neuheisel’s mother, all the other folks watching the game will be SEC transplants on the West Coast who are used to having weird times for quality football games — like 4:00 am on a Tuesday.

Of course, based upon my experience from making the trip out to LA for the 1997 Tennessee – UCLA game, most (at least 5 – 7,000 of them or so) of the SEC transplants will already be at the game drowning out the deafening silence that is so usually associated with UCLA home football games.  I mean, I’m glad that UCLA gives 15 – 20,000 seats at every game to the disadvantaged youth from the LA area, but it’s not much of a home field advantage.

To the UCLA fans’ credit, however, there is a special helmet that the team occasionally wears — just to salute their fans.

Hmm… not exactly the same as being at an SEC stadium…

2) Sometimes doing the right thing is tough. Sometimes we have to choose between bad and worse.  I have known snipers that get bothered even though what they did was absolutely right. It seems being a coach would have some similar circumstances. Did you think that  Coach Fulmer and staff ever lose any sleep over their choices?

Of course I’m not privy to everything that goes on in the Tennessee football program, so I’m just speculating (which has never stopped me before).  Ignoring that, I imagine that the Great Punkin is much more likely to lose sleep over the painful realization that he still has several more weddings to pay for as his daughters grow older, than he is to lose sleep over matters pertaining to his decisions as a football coach.

Fulmer is many things — great football coach, awe-inspiring orator, terror at the Chinese Buffet, dancing phenom, master of international diplomacy, winner of the world quilting competition, beloved figure in the State of Alabama, his lawyer’s best client, man of distinction — but I have always felt that he is a man of great integrity who always trusts his gut (no pun intended) and does what he believes is right, as Willie Nelson so aptly described:

And every time I follow what I’m feeling, I end up in the same place my heart would have me go.

If there’s one rule in life I trust, it’s everything outside your gut, ain’t necessarily so.

– Willie Nelson

My experience is that that Fulmer generally trusts his instincts and he rarely second guesses himself.  The case of the phrase “Randy Sanders, Offensive Coordinator” is a good example of that.  Thus, I’d be highly surprised if there are many things from his career he regrets in that way.

The same would be true for “Smilin’ Mike” Hamilton, perhaps with the exception of his having attended Clemson, which is … well … bad, but at least he now has 2 reasons to pull against Alabama this weekend.

3) Nick Saban is going to start 10 freshman against Clemson.  Why is he doing this and did he just buy another year of grace from the Red Elephant Club?

So, Slick Nicky wants to try playing with 10 freshman.  Well, more power to him, but it’s going to be a long night at the Georgia Dome if he does.

My guess is, however,  that one of several things is actually going on here:

1. He’s lying.
2. He believes that if he sets the bar low for the game against the Tigers — by being able to claim that he was handicapped by having largely freshmen on the team — the Bammer faithful won’t call for his head after the first game.
3. After a long talk with Mike Shula over martinis in the bathtub, Saban has realized that he can make just as much money doing absolutely nothing other than admiring himself in the mirror, and thus hopes a 65 – 0 loss on national television will get him fired and a chance to start living the easy life.
4. He’s an idiot.
5. He finally realized that all those bribes he gave local judges in Alabama — though improving his chances of getting out of speeding tickets — are not going to result in all of his regular starting convicts players being released.
6. When asked by Pete Rose — for reasons Pete said he simply couldn’t go into — Saban agreed to play the freshmen.
7. The 10 freshmen are all the brothers of the girls down at the “Brass Pole Gentlemen’s Club” and the girls said if Nick gave their brothers a shot, they’d make it worth his while.

Yeah, it’s probably a little of all of them…

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This Week’s Roundtable is hosted by: Fulmer’s Belly

The Off-Season is a Conspiracy

This week’s Big Orange Roundtable is hosted by Fulmer’s Belly who has offered questions of real substance — questions which seek insight and analysis.  That pretty much means I’ll be bringing up the rear.  Thus, it would probably be best if you just skipped my responses and clicked on the links to the other roundtablers below.

If you are nonetheless determined to waste your time reading my prattling — losing moments of your life, your lunch, and perhaps your will to live — here are my thoughts for the week

Week 7

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1)  Knock on wood before answering this question, but let’s assume that Jonathan Crompton goes out with a season ending injury in the 1st half of the first game of the season. Should we just pack it up and wait until next season, or is there a glimmer of hope in any of the young backups?

First of all, I don’t want to hear any more of this Communist “injury” talk.  I’m having questions about your loyalty …

That said, assuming the awful were to happen, I agree with the collective brain trust, that losing a single player does not mean that it is time to give up on the 2008 season.  Even the loss of a quarterback doesn’t necessarily spell disaster.

If you remember, back in 1994 the Vols lost starting senior quarterback Jerry Colquitt on the seventh play of the season versus UCLA.  The only other quarterbacks on the squad that year were two true freshmen — Branndon Stewart and some guy named Manning.

Of course, despite his stellar career at Tennessee, even Peyton only managed a 8-4 (SEC 5-3) season.  Still, there was a lot of fight left in the 1994 Vols after the loss of Colquitt.

Similarly, we wouldn’t currently have any idea what Jonathan Crompton is capable of had it not been for him standing in for Erik Ainge during the 2006 season.

I feel certain that the Vols would manage to finish strong and do everyone proud without Crompton, after all — on paper — neither B.J. Coleman nor Nick Stephens are exactly slouches.  Furthermore, unlike Manning in 1994, both have had some time to actually learn the offense.

Bearing all of that in mind, I think the loss of Crompton early in the season would likely result in losses at both Florida and Auburn simply due to the need for the new quarterback to get up to speed.

So, I guess my answer is that the Vols would be “okay” but would probably not put up numbers for the record book.

2)  Does Erik Ainge have a future in the NFL?

With no disrespect to Ainge, I have never really seen him as a successful NFL quarterback.  I simply don’t think that Ainge has the flexibility that a quarterback is required to demonstrate to combat the defenses of the NFL.  He is a reasonably solid pocket passer, but has limited mobility — which is not necessarily a killer with most teams in the NFL.  He does, however, have the good sense to get rid of the ball when there is no one to throw to — a fact borne out by the NCAA record of only 4 sacks over the course of the season.

In the end, after getting injured versus Notre Dame, Ainge never really seemed to have the spark that made him seem so great during his freshman year.  After that point, Ainge seemed to be a basically an average above-average quarterback.  He was efficient, he was capable, he was reliable — he was not exceptional.  Unfortunately, that exceptional ability is usually required to compete in NFL.

3)  Why in the hell did you decide to blog about Tennessee football?  Aren’t there already enough Tennessee blogs?

Well, that’s a tough question to answer considering that I more or less started the Gate on a whim.  I had previously tried a little blogging on other more “serious” topics, but none of those ever amounted to anything because they required intelligent thought and at least a limited amount of skill.  Thus, I started this little project mainly because I figured it would be a good way to waste time, besides it was cheaper than drugs.

As for why I blog about Tennessee?  Well, the reality is that Tennessee is the only team I really follow in any meaningful way.  I also live in the bowels of ACC country, which is … well … sickening, and blogging about Tennessee and the SEC helps control the nausea.

I suppose I could start a blog on animal husbandry, navel lint, or really stupid things I’ve done in life.  I suppose I could even write one of those “life blogs” where I tell the entire world about my daily life, but I am really a boring person and who the hell really cares how many times I went to the bathroom today and all of the people I’d like to kill.

I have no intention of ever trying to be a “stats” guy because I can barely add — that is why I am a lawyer.  I also have no desire to try and be a “traditional” sports writer.  First of all, I live nearly seven hours from the home of the team I write about, which makes it a little difficult for me to actually report on a game I didn’t even attend.  Besides that’s what all the mainstream media types already have a near monopoly on.  Thus, all I can really do is offer my own peculiar observations on the world of sports from an orange-tinted perspective and make fun of the more humorous side of the sports world.

Oh, and when I can’t think of anything worth writing, I’ve found that posting juvenile, semi-offensive, poorly doctored, photos will often suffice.

On a personal note, if I had a chance to breathe lately, at least I would have been able to post a little something of substance every now and then.  I really hate it when my job interferes with my asinine hobbies.  That part is frustrating — almost as frustrating as Tennessee’s 2005 football season … but not quite.  I suppose in the perfect world I’d be able to spend all my days writing for this rag so everyone could ignore it.

In the end, I suppose the main reason I write is because I am a lawyer and, by default, a blowhard who likes to hear himself talk (or write as the case may be).  I guess I write about sports because I really lack any real ability to write about anything of real substance.  It’s funny, I’ve been doing this for a while now, and I’m still not sure what I am doing.

I’m sure both of my readers would agree …

4)  If you could be one player in one game in Tennessee history, which player and which game would you pick?  Why?

This is a tough one.  There are so many great choices which would be on my short-list.  Here are a few (in no particular order)

George "Bad News" Cafego

• Dale Jones vs. Miami — 1985
• Condredge Holloway vs. Clemson — 1974
• Peyton Manning vs. Alabama — 1995
• Al Wilson vs. Florida — 1998
• Peerless Price vs. Florida State — 1998
• Heath Shuler vs. Florida — 1992
• George Cafego vs. Anybody — 1938/39

These are but a few — this one is just too tough to call.

5)  Which is your favorite rivalry and why? (Not necessarily limited to Tennessee teams)?

Well, I pretty much said it all about this one a few weeks back when it comes to Tennessee rivalries.

I hate to lose to Alabama, I absolutely loathe Florida.

For me, the key to a true rivalry is respect.  I have no respect for Florida, so — predictably — it’s Bama for me.

In terms of other rivalries … umm … I would probably list the following:

• The Memphis Tigers vs. “The Crazy UAB Fan“

• The Chicago Cubs vs. Cold Hard Reality;
• The Philadelphia Eagles vs. The Eagles Hoodlums Fans;
• The People of the State of Florida vs. All Current and Former Members of the University of Miami Football Team, and John Doe, co-conspirator, et. al, Criminal Docket No. 07 CVS…;
• Ron Artest vs. the Crowd.

Yeah, I know, not much in terms of effort on my part…

Bonus)  Who will win the national title this year? And by how many points will Tennessee win?

Two answers — my hope, and my head:

• Hope:  Tennessee 28 – USC 14
• Head:  Florida 21 – Clemson (Yeah that’s right, Clemson) 10

The Rest of the Roundtable:

Having wasted your time on my largely meaningless and insignificant thoughts for this week, go check out what the other roundtablers (who actually know what they are talking about) have to say (in no particular order):

• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• YMSWWC
• MoonDog Sports
• Fulmer’s Belly
• Loser With Socks
• Rocky Top Talk
• SouthEastern Sports Blog
• The View From the Hill

Well, now wasn’t that fun…

– Go Figure …

Images Courtesy of: The Redzone Report • GoVolsXtra • The VIB • TalkWeather Forums • Hoopedia

This Week’s Roundtable is hosted by: MoonDog Sports

Rolling Along We Go!

This week’s Big Orange Roundtable is hosted by the MoonDog, who has served up some great questions for the roundtable.

Here are my laughable thoughts for the week:

Week 6

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1) Let’s assume the worst for a moment and say the Vols finish the season 6-6. Does Fulmer survive? If not, whom do you believe would be the best person to fill the head coaching vacancy? Even if you believe Fulmer survives, feel free to offer your thoughts on the Vols next coach.

As I previously discussed in Week 2 (Question 3), I believe that Coach Fulmer’s new contract (which includes an automatic extension when he wins 8 games or more), while giving the Great Punkin more job-security on one hand, also sets a quantifiable standard of 8 wins which, if not met, could lead to his firing.  It seems to me that it would be next to impossible for Mike Hamilton to keep Fulmer on as head coach if he failed to meet the 8-win mark in a given season.  That said, I think Hamilton would do everything in his power to keep Fulmer in his current position at the helm of the Vols’ football program.  For the record, at present, I would agree with Hamilton’s desire to retain Fulmer.

Independent of Fulmer’s own merits and accomplishments (which are considerable) — one of the reasons I have always questioned the “Fire-Fulmerites’” cries is that I have never heard any meaningful suggestion as to who would replace him.  As I also said in Week 2, I think Fulmer is likely trying to groom Dave Clawson as his replacement down the road, which — depending on how things pan out — may be a great move.  All that said, if Fulmer were to either be fired or retire, my short-list of candidates would include the following (in no particular order):

• Bob Stoops: I agree with MoonDog that Stoops has an impressive record, despite his habit of losing in the bowl games.  My only concern with Stoops is one of persona and style — a little too Spurrier-esque for me, but I could get over that I suppose.
• Jim Grobe: I like what Grobe has done at Wake Forest, which is a tough place to win.  I would somewhat prefer someone who is likely to stay a little longer — since Grobe appears to be roughly the same age as Fulmer, and probably won’t want to coach into his 60s and 70s.
• Brian Kelly: I agree with 3SIB that Kelly could be another good choice in much the same way that Urban Meyer appealed to Florida — an up-and-coming coach on the rise.  Of course, the same would be true for Clawson.
• Brett Favre: I figure he’s been so dying to get back into someone’s game, why not Tennessee’s?  Actually, I think that would be a horrible idea…

This overly short list only goes to show that I am really not sure who Tennessee would tap to take the head job, and only emphasizes why I continue to think that Fulmer is the best coach for Tennessee at present.

2) With the off-field troubles many college football programs have encountered over the past five years, including Tennessee, what actions would you take to prevent players from getting into undesirable situations?

There are a lot of college students that have done some things that are probably prosecutable if the law caught them.  This is true regardless of whether they are athletes or not.  So, on one hand I generally think that miscellaneous bad behavior shouldn’t automatically lead to dismissal from the team.  Being given the opportunity to play at the college level, however, gives great rewards to the players.  Along with those rewards comes increased responsibility — due to the fact that those athletes are on the front-porch of the university.  Finally, I believe that true “criminal” behavior should be dealt with swiftly and strongly.

Bearing all of this in mind, my thoughts are that there should only be three rules of increasing severity — built on the concept that a team lives and dies as a group — for any team, which should be enforced without exception:

• Rule 1:  Never do anything that will embarrass yourself. — In this case I would lump things like not going to class, bad discipline in practices, being late to practices, and potentially recklessness in a game (such as unwarranted personal fouls), etc.  The penalty for infractions would be that the player is publicly reprimanded in very plain and unfiltered terms before his teammates, and the entire team runs or does some other unpleasant drill as a result of the infraction by one of its members.

• Rule 2:  Never do anything that will embarrass your team. –  This would include general bad behavior that falls under Rule 1, if it is repeated.  In other words, repeat offenses of a Rule 1 violation calls into question the cohesiveness of the team, and thus reflects on the team.  This would also include any “minor” entanglements with the local constabulary such as: drunk and disorderly, speeding, underage consumption, misdemeanor possession of marijuana, etc. — essentially anything which doesn’t involve fundamental dishonesty and/or risk to the physical well-being of others.  The penalty for infractions would be a mandatory one-game suspension, being reprimanded openly in front of teammates, all members of the player’s squad losing privileges, the entire team doing twice as many laps or drills as for a Rule 1 violation, and the team captains being required to do an even greater penance — along with the offender.  The offender would also be required to make some sort of public apology or public sign of remorse along with some goodwill public service (i.e. visiting the children’s ward at the hospital, raking leaves for the infirm, etc.).

• Rule 3:  Never do anything that will embarrass your university, its staff, students, and alumni. –  This would be the most serious violation.  This would include any real criminal behavior such as a felony.  The immediate response would be an investigation by the coaching staff.  If it appeared that the offender was not guilty of the charges, then the player would be suspended for the remainder of the season until cleared by law enforcement officials or the Courts, with the assumption that the player will be dismissed if not cleared.  During that time, the offender would essentially serve as the lowest-level trainer and would be given the worst jobs associated with a football team.  If the staff determined that the player was likely guilty, then the player would be immediately dismissed from the team, and a public statement issued explaining why.  Regardless of the guilt or innocence of the offender, the entire team would have a major privilege suspended for at least half of the season.  The members of the offender’s squad and the team captains would be treated as if each of them had violated Rule 1 by not taking adequate steps to prevent the offense or hold their teammate accountable.  Again, the whole team would also be required to perform additional drills.

The goal of this system would be to instill mutual responsibility among team members and to emphasize that when one falls short, all fall short.  I am responsible for my brother and my brother is responsible for me. No coaching staff can ever police or monitor players at all times — no matter how vigilant.  When properly channeled, peer pressure can be a beautiful thing, and is the sort of thing which goes with a player everywhere he goes.  This system is also meant to emphasize that, when you are in a position of honor (being a member of the team) then sometimes guilt by association is all that is required to warrant a penalty — it simply comes with the territory.

3) The Vols have rolled through UCLA, UAB, Florida, Auburn, Northern Illinois and Georgia. We’re No. 3 in the polls and up next is Alabama. With 3:16 left in the 4th quarter the Vols are down 20-17 and it’s 4th and one from the Bama 29-yard line. Do you kick the field goal or go for it?

Barring some sort of absolutely deplorable abysmal collapse by our kicking team leading up to the game, or the development of an absolutely hellacious running game which mows down defenses like the grim reaper with a caffeine buzz, I kick the ball.

The reasons for this are several:

• Three doesn’t play for the win, but it also prevents the loss with time expiring, and I’d just as soon not have to live through another episode of the 1998 win over Arkansas.
• You look like a genius if you convert, but boy do you look like a moron if you turn the ball over on downs.
• Tennessee has been very successful in overtime games, especially in Neyland Stadium, and I’ll take those odds with Orange Nation fired-up.
• If you are looking at the possibility of an undefeated season, you coach with your head, not your balls.
• It’s smart football.

So, ultimately, I take the conservative approach.  Of course, Coach Fulmer rarely seems to care what I think is best, so this is somewhat academic.  After all, I haven’t yet seen the film…

4) What impact, if any, do you believe Stan Drayton will have as the Vols prepare to play Florida?

I think the biggest effect that Stan Drayton may have will not be on the players he is tapped to coach.  I think the biggest thing Tennessee gains from Drayton in this year’s battle with the reptiles is his experience coaching the running game in Gainesville — for the benefit of the Tennessee defense.  The message will probably be that — with the exception of Tebow — there really isn’t much of a run game at Florida.  Good little piece of information to have.  Of course, this is a new season, and you really don’t have to be a genius to figure out that Florida was one-directional last year.

On the flip side, I am desperately hoping that Drayton is able to invigorate our running game which — by my mind — is one of the keys to beating Florida this year, or any year.  I have high hopes for him, and generally think he was a very good hire by Fulmer.

5) We’ve discussed the Vols offense and defense, but what about special teams? Give us your thoughts on Tennessee’s kicking game and special teams in general?

The key to success this season is keeping Britton Colquitt off the sauce…

Actually, that really has nothing to do with our kicking game — or at least it shouldn’t.  Nonetheless, all of the distractions stemming from Colquitt’s off-the-field hijinxs have got to be a concern — especially given his early season suspension.  This unit needs to be sure it understands what it is about before strapping on their helmets.  They need to come prepared to play.

On a more substantive note, I am hopeful that the kick returns will improve this year and that Dennis Rogan will get the chance to really wow the Vol faithful a few times this year.  The key on kick-returns (aside from actually catching the ball without fumbling it) is discipline.  If they can be disciplined, learn to stay in their lanes, learn when to take a knee, and when to block, I believe that the kick-return squad could really be impressive this year.

In terms of the field-goal unit — I’ll take Daniel Lincoln over just about anybody.  Absent him derailing in the near future, I feel pretty good about where we sit when it comes to the uprights.

The Rest of the Roundtable:

Having wasted your time on my largely meaningless and insignificant thoughts for this week, go check out what the other roundtablers (who actually know what they are talking about) have to say (in no particular order):

• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• YMSWWC
• MoonDog Sports
• Fulmer’s Belly
• Loser With Socks
• Rocky Top Talk
• SouthEastern Sports Blog
• The View From the Hill

And that’s the way it is….

– Go Figure …

Check out This Week’s Roundtable Round-up hosted by Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

Back in the Saddle

After my attempts at steering the ship last week, this week’s Big Orange Roundtable is hosted by Thomas the Terrible from Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain.

Here are my mindless thoughts for the week

Week 5

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1) One former VOL made the brave choice to testify against some Bammers and has to enter witness protection with a whole new identity, but that also gives him 4 more years of eligibility. Which VOL would you pick and why?

John Henderson: I’d take Big John Henderson mainly because he was such a force on defense.  I loved watching him play and — as far as I am concerned he could continue doing it until the end of time.  As an interior lineman — a position that some seem to think is less important than the so-called “skill” positions — he managed to always make his presence felt.  Oh yeah, there was also that Outland Trophy thing he won in 2000 — minor point.  His pre-game warmup routine is pretty intimidating too:

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Official, I’m a Blowhard!

All of the Roundtable bloggers agreed on this one point in their answers to this week’s questions as posed by yours truly.  What’d they expect from a lawyer?

Anyway, aside from that revelation, here’s what Ye Mystic Knights of the Roundtable had to say in response to my ridiculous inquiries:

1) Thus far we’ve made a number of predictions for the 2008 Vols. Now, let’s take the next step: What are your pre-season predictions for each of Tennessee’s regular season games this year (along with any explanations you feel are needed)?

Fulmer’s Belly with acronym madness, Loser With Socks (with the exception of calling Auburn a tossup), and the SouthEastern Sports Blog took the hard line by making it clear that they cannot pick against Tennessee. I can completely relate with this and fully concur in Will thoughts:

For one, I think the vast majority of us in Vol Nation still believe that Tennessee is good enough to win every game they play.

* * * * *

The phrase I’ve used most often in the two-plus years of this blog’s existence is some form of “The SEC is good enough that anybody can beat everybody. And Tennessee is still good enough to beat anybody every single week.”

* * * * *

… so what you’re most likely to get from me every week is something like “How the Vols can win this week” instead of “Will the Vols win this week?” throughout the year.

I like that kind of optimism, and in reality that is exactly what I will be doing each week. That said, the rest of the Roundtablers generally agreed that the Vols would go 10-2 this season (with the exception of YMSWWC who picked the Vols to go 9-3) generally agreed on the games where Tennessee was most likely to fall a bit short, here’s how they fell:

So, there you have it. Hopefully, Will, Jai, and Jon are right, and Tennessee does go undefeated…

2) Gameday routines, we all have them. What are your gameday rituals, especially those that are completely irrational, grounded in baseless superstition, or otherwise defy explanation?

Well, the answers here were as varied as they were interesting.

Will from SouthEastern Sports Blog bemoaned one of my least favorite parts of gamedays at Tennessee — traffic. Despite his angst, however, he waxed sentimental on us all as he talked of anticipating Bobby Denton’s proclamation of “It’s Football Time in Tennessee!!!” before watching pre-game warm-ups. More disturbingly, he mentioned something about having a hog’s head stowed somewhere in his parent’s basement. Yuck!

Doug at the Power T apparently spends his gamedays working as both a chef and a maid — tying every act on a gameday to either cooking or laundry. The All-knowing MoonDog watches objectively, but shows clear signs of inner turmoil in his admission that “after a Vols’ win, I’m less inclined to take a trip to the Memphis Zoo and work over the baby seals.“

For Thomas over at YMSWWC, gamedays take on a religious connotation, and his invocation of the football gods includes true ritual:

For home games I get up at 3:30 AM and slash the tires of my neighbors’ car since they are Bama fans. If it’s a road game then I want good karma that day so I only scratch the fender of the car. Then I retire back to bed. Around 7:00 AM I get back up a sacrifice a live cow on the alter of Smokey.

Meanwhile, Joel at RTT, told the tale of “summoning the oracle” known as Jackson the Mule — widely known for his sports prognosticating skill — through the clever use of apples, body paint, and pizza. I thought that sort of thing was illegal in Tennessee?

Cincy Vol and Jai Eugene, however take the gameday display to all new levels by either running around the yard madly waving a Tennessee flag to the point of injury, or yardwork, Tennessee style:

I live deep in the heart of Dixie, where the temps range upwards in 80s during the fall. I typically like to mow my lawn on College Football Saturdays but I do it a bit differently. As I mow, weedeat and edge, I wear a full Tennessee Football Uniform (home or away Jersey depending on the schedule), replete with a helmet (with a ‘T’), shoulder pads,receiver gloves black cleats and a tinted Oakley face shield. … This way I can become one with the current players and the Ghosts of Tennessee past that have had a hand in the rise of the mighty Vols to gridiron glory.

3) Crompton vs. Tebow? Discuss…

Apparently, I just missed the boat on this one. My goal with this question was to compare the two running quarterbacks and get thoughts on how they stack up against one another.

Perhaps I should have used more than four words to pose this question…

Anyway, the answers to this one were … well … interesting.

Joel, in trying to figure out what the question was even about, had this to say:

Perhaps you mean “with sharp implements,” in which case my first inclination is to trust Tebow over Crompton because Crompton, being a more rural-type guy is probably more used to wethering goats than preparing young men for, well, lives as young men. Then again, you could view Crompton as more “thorough” in that regard, so perhaps he’s got the edge. Heh. Edge.

Perhaps you mean “in tights and a headband, shirtless,” in which case I hereby resign from the Roundtable and unsubscribe from your newsletter.

Hmmmm… that last one is an image I could have lived my whole life without.

The rest were pretty much in the same vein — including an impressive answer in song from Loser With Socks — but all seemed to conclude that I was a moron for asking this question before we’ve even really had a chance to see Crompton play.

Mea culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa…

4) Will the Vols manage to make it to the SEC Championship Game again this season – either outright, or through the backdoor? Why or why not?

MoonDog, led the doubters pointing to defensive uncertainty. Doug from the Power T offered this sage insight, which could very well prove to be true:

The real question is: will we be ahead of Florida? Sadly, I think because SO much weight is put on preseason polls, it will be hard to jump ahead of them, even though we have the harder schedule. So, no, I think we will be a few plays short of winning the East, and thusly, a few plays short of winning the SEC. The SEC East winner will undoubtedly win the entire SEC.

Joel, Thomas, and I brought up the rear when it came to naysayers.

Fulmer’s Belly rode the fence saying:

As long as the team gels as a cohesive unit, the SECCG is within reach.
Lose another one however, and fans will grumble like mofos.

On the other hand, SESB asked pointedly, “So really … why not?” Cincy Vol agreed, based upon talent and the Vols’ “under the radar” pre-season rankings. Loser With Socks, however, takes the cake in explaining why the Vols will not only make it to the SEC Championship Game, but will win it:

The Vols in the Championship again, It’s because it’s what we love. It is who we were born to be. And here you sit, thinking. Well, Tennessee Football is not for thinkers. We are players and hitters. We are the doers. And that’s what we need to do. We don’t need to think. We need to win. We need speed. We need to go out there, and you need to run like hell. We need to fire it up. We need to grab a hold of that line between speed and chaos, and we need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra! And then, when the fear rises up in our belly, we use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And we use it. And we ride it; we ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then we win…

I really don’t know what you say in response to that…

5) Of all the coaches in the SEC who do you currently consider to be the best? Why?

Well, I was in the definite minority on this one, picking Sly Croom of Mississippi State. I know that’s a surprise to everyone.

MoonDog took Mark Richt, due to the fact he has really turned the program around at Georgia, and has consistently found his way into BCS Bowls. Joel, despite feeling dirty for having done so, chose The “Ole’ Ball Coach,” Steve Spurrier. Thomas the Terrible took Tommy Tubberville (what amazing alliteration)

Both SESB and 3SIB took Urban Meyer with Cincy Vol noting:

I’m the Wes Mantooth to his Ron Burgundy. He just deserves respect, no matter how much I hate him. (And oh do I hate him) He pulled in a national championship and has put the beat on people in the SEC and around the country. The guy is good.

Jai Eugene, along with Jon at Fulmer’s Belly picked the Great Punkin. Jai noted “Fulmer’s masterful play calling, rock hard discipline policy, on the field demeanor, and grasp of the english language during press conferences,” as being the deciding factors in his mind. While Jon as part of his acronym-ical approach to things had this to say:

This isn’t even an question for us. Of course it’s Fulmer.
It doesn’t even compare. Just look at his accolades.
The best winning percentage, the biggest coat size, the most desserts eaten.
Little can take away from our coach’s awesomeness.
Except stupid Urban and Steve of course.

Up Next…

So there you have it folks. We’ve learned that you should never pick against the home team, that demon cobras need wrestling, and that — no matter what — we all feel good about this season.

Oh yeah, we’ve also learned that I will never be given the chance to write the questions again…

Up next is Thomas the Terrible with week 5 of the Roundtable, which will also feature a new member, Patrick from The View From the Hill. Be sure to check it out at the top of the week.

Next time I think I’ll just ask what everyone’s favorite color is …

– Go Figure …

King for the week!  This week’s Roundtable is hosted here at Gate 21

Oh, to be in Camelot!!!

Having, as Joel put it, taken the the sword from Rocky Top Talk — pointy-end first — and due to a complete lack of standards, this week’s Big Orange Roundtable is being hosted here at Gate 21.

At present the roundtable includes: 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, Fulmer’s Belly, Gate 21, Rocky Top Talk, Loser With Socks, the World According to MoonDog (a/k/a MoonDog Sports), The Power T, Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain, and the SouthEastern Sports Blog. If you’d like to join, feel free to let us know.

In furtherance of our quest for the answers to life’s burning questions — at least respecting the Tennessee Volunteers, here are this week’s questions — courtesy of your truly — along with my particularly meaningless answers.

Week 4

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1) Thus far we’ve made a number of predictions for the 2008 Vols.  Now, let’s take the next step: What are your pre-season predictions for each of Tennessee’s regular season games this year (along with any explanations you feel are needed)?

Those are my pre-season thoughts, and like all pre-season predictions, they are utterly meaningless…

2) Gameday routines, we all have them.  What are your gameday rituals, especially those that are completely irrational, grounded in baseless superstition, or otherwise defy explanation?

Well, as I recounted in Week 2, my gameday ritual is one which includes a lot of driving, and little time for tailgating.  Thus, I suppose my gamedays are a little less “ritualistic” than some.  Still, I have my tried and tested routines which I tend to stick to closely.

Since Sam & Andy’s closed, I generally eat my pre-game meal at Smokey’s in the University Center — It’s not grand faire, but at least the lines aren’t that long.  As a general rule, I don’t eat much before a game — especially big games — due to the fact that I’d just as soon not end up spending my time in the Neyland Stadium bathrooms, remodeled or not.

As a general rule, I rarely drink any alcohol on gamedays — not because I’m a teetotaler, but because I find it is generally ill-advised to show up to the stadium “overcome by a multitude of circumstances.“  I have never favored drinking before a game — mainly because I want to be able to remember the game.  There have, however, been a few games which have made me wish I had gotten knee-crawlin’ drunk before kickoff, if only to dull the pain, and to encourage explosive projectile vomiting on opposing fans.

My biggest tradition is that I smoke a big nasty cigar before each game, and — if we win — one afterwards.  This is really the only time I smoke at all.  I do realize that they take years off your life, but they are the ones at the end, and they aren’t any good anyway.  Besides, people tend to get out of your way and run for cover when you have a flaming stick protruding from your mouth which smells like smoldering death.  I guess I blame Doctor Julian, and his constant cigar smoking for that one.

Oh!  What’s that Hell you’re playing?

Dr. W.J. Julian, Director of Bands Emeritus

After I have incinerated my taste buds, I usually wait for the Pride of the Southland to do their “Salute to the Hill” and enter the stadium.  I waited for the Vol Walk once — in 2002 — but after seeing Casey Clausen come pimp-strutting by wearing a suit the color of something that came out of a baby’s diaper, immediately before getting annihilated by Florida, I’ve skipped it.

Once inside the stadium, I loudly heckle Bobby Denton as he announces the line-ups.  It is interesting how skillfully he can butcher some of the names — despite the fact there are printed pronunciations in the media guide.

Then I settle back and enjoy watching inattentive fans take footballs in the head as the kicking team warms up, before settling in for a 4-hour battle — my lucky towel always tucked in my belt.

Since they added them to the concessions at the game, I usually eat a Petro at some point in the game, mainly because I love those things…

Hmmm, now that I think about it, I’m pretty white-bread…

3) Crompton vs. Tebow?   Discuss…

This is naturally one of the hot topics this year as the “Straight Outta Crompton” era begins.  The similarities between these two quarterbacks are striking — both have the ability to throw on you, and both have the willingness and the skills to run straight at opposing defenses.  Obviously, Tim Tebow has experience on his side, and a trophy which — according to some — has elevated him to the status of deity.  By the same token, Jonathan Crompton has a fearlessness which Tebow has never really seemed to demonstrate.

Tebow managed 20 rushing and 20 passing touchdowns in 2007, and broke pretty much every record for running quarterbacks.  I question, however, whether that was as much a function of his innate abilities as it was Florida’s willingness to sellout on a new offensive scheme which, at the time, was somewhat unconventional.  As their final 9-4 record for 2007 shows, the Florida Gators were very beatable (apparently just not by Tennessee).  The biggest weakness for the Florida offense last year was the running backs — they really didn’t have one.  Tebow, who runs like a fullback, is at his best running when in close quarters, either up the middle, or on sweeps and draws.  As we all know he has exhibited great speed and elusive moves, and is a serious threat on any play.  Still, at times his decision making has essentially rendered Florida’s offense one-dimensional.  Saint Tebow versus the world.  Furthermore, while Tebow ran like a madman throughout the season, he did so at a price — suffering several injuries which hampered his production.

Crompton, on the other hand, is still somewhat of an unknown.  As he made clear while filling in for Erik Ainge in 2006, he has a cannon of an arm.  Like a cannon, however, sometimes his aim is … well … not what it could be.  That said, with an extra year of experience under his belt, it would seem likely that his throwing abilities could have only improved.  As I said previously, I have some concerns about his mental game — whether he has the discipline to make smart decisions in choosing his receivers and his routes.  By the same token, Crompton has a running style which really defies explanation when it comes to running quarterback.  at 6′4″, 220″, he has the size of Fullback, but runs more like a traditional running back.  His absolute lack of fear while running — including his complete willingness to drop his head and plant a helmet in the chest of tacklers, makes him seem more threatening in the open field than Tebow.  The speed and agility he has shown in the past makes him a serious threat in the open field, albeit less so between the tackles.  If, Crompton has stepped up to the next level and is mentally prepared, he could be an absolute terror this season — especially under the tuteledge of new offensive coordinator Dave Clawson.  Furthermore, thus far it has seemed that Crompton has a greater potential to burn defenses with the long ball while passing than Tebow, but — again — his track record is limited and it is hard to say for certain.

In the end, we probably don’t have enough information to make a fair comparison between the two … yet.  Hopefully, Crompton will come out full force from the start.  That said with both a new quarterback and a new offensive coordinator, it is likely that there will be some miscues in the early games.  By the midpoint of the season, however, I strongly believe that Crompton has the potential to be every bit as good as Tebow.

Needless to say, I am seriously looking forward to seeing them go head-to-head when they meet on 20 September.

4) Will the Vols manage to make it to the SEC Championship Game again this season — either outright, or through the backdoor?  Why or why not?

Well, in all honesty, the Vols probably never should have been anywhere near Atlanta for the SEC Championship game last year.  Still, when it came down to it, they earned the trip and were one boneheaded pass away from potentially beating the LSU Tigers.  Thus, I guess they were better than most gave them credit for.

Be that as it may, I think it is highly unlikely that the Vols make the return trip this year.  Though it pains me to say it, I have Florida picked to go to the Championship from the SEC East to play either LSU or Auburn.  I believe that Tennessee — being the perpetual bridesmaid — will finish second, just ahead of a 2-conference loss Georgia (with the tie going to Tennessee due to a head-to-head win).  If the Vols manage to somehow beat Florida or Auburn — or miraculously both of them — then that would change things dramatically (as if that were not self-evident).

In the end, I simply think that the offense will be too new this year, and thus will have a difficult time during September.  With new starting quarterback Jonathan Crompton, and a new offensive scheme under Dave Clawson, I simply think it will take the Vols at least half the season to find offensive consistency.  Unfortunately, the Vols schedule (as always) is heavily weighted to the front end.  That means the chance of two early-season conference losses which will effectively knock them out of contention for the SEC East.

That said, they could be hell-on-wheels by 2009…

5) Of all the coaches in the SEC who do you currently consider to be the best?  Why?

I know a lot of folks will say Les Miles, Tommy Tubberville, or maybe even Urban Meyer.  For me, however, I have got to go with Sylvester Croom who has coached the Mississippi State Bulldogs for the last 5 years.  When Croom took over, the Bulldogs were awful — they just plain sucked.  After 3 years of winning only 3 games, however, Croom finally seemed to turn the corner in Starkville in 2007 finishing 8-5 (4-4 SEC) for the season — the first winning season for Miss. State since 2000.

While I realize his win / loss record is not what it could be (17-30 overall) managing to bring the Bulldogs back to respectability is, in my book, a major accomplishment.  Let’s be frank here, it’s called “Stark“ville for a reason.  Recruiting for the Bulldogs is probably as challenging as any other school in the SEC, perhaps with the exception of Vanderbilt.  Yet, somehow, Croom has managed to right the ship and bring the program back from the bowels of football hell.

What’s more, this year’s team returns 14 starters — all of whom were recruited by Croom — and looks to be set to make another strong showing this year.  They should be even better than they were in 2007, and I’d be highly surprised if the Bulldogs don’t end up in a bowl this year.  I have real fear when it comes to the Vols game against the Bulldogs this year.  My only hope is that the boys in orange don’t “overlook” the cowbell clan — if they do, they will lose.

I sincerely hope that Croom keeps building on his successes from 2007 and continues to bring Miss. State back to the forefront of the SEC West.  It’s one thing to win at LSU, Florida, or Auburn — if you can win at Mississippi State, you can win anywhere.

The Rest of the Roundtable:

Having wasted your time on my largely meaningless and insignificant thoughts for this week, go check out what the other roundtablers (who actually know what they are talking about) have to say.  I’ll be updating the links as each new post comes up — that is, unless they all refuse to answer my asinine questions.  Assuming that they do answer the questions and that you do not value the lining of your stomach, feel free to come back on Friday to see the round-up of what everyone had say (In no particular order):

• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• YMSWWC
• World According to MoonDog
• Fulmer’s Belly
• Loser With Socks
• The Power T
• Rocky Top Talk
• SouthEastern Sports Blog

It’s nice to be king, well, at least until they behead you…

– Go Figure …

Images Courtesy of: DawgSports.com • The University of Tennessee