This week’s BlogPoll Roundtable is hosted by Braves & Birds…

As a voting member of the College Football BlogPoll, I think I am supposed to answer these questions, so here goes…

The Setup:

Your college football program wants to know how you, its valued customer, thinks of your consumer experience! Please help your program evaluate its performance in the first two weeks of the season! Can you feel the [INSERT NAME OF PROGRAM HERE] difference!?!

1.  How would you rate your program’s service to you in the first two weeks of the season?

Well, you know I’m pretty sure I ordered a win in a Rose Bowl during the first week of the season, instead, I got a glass of “orange lose” in a cracked cup. Then, this past week they didn’t even play. Given the disappointment of the first go round, I’m pretty much of the opinion that the no-show treatment this past week was better than the first.

2. How happy are you with your program’s overall scheme? We are in a period in which the spread has become a total obsession in the media. If you’re a fan of a spread team, are you happy with the way your program has implemented it? If you’re a fan of a non-spread team, do you wish that your program would convert to this Xenu of offenses?

Well, after the UCLA game, I’m pretty much willing to go back to the single-wing if they can run it with some sense of what they are doing. Given the Tennessee Volunteers showing the first game out, I say run it on every single down — even on fourth down. Don’t do anything but run it. In fact if you can find a way to run it on kickoff, go ahead and do that. I’ll take the penalty, at least we know what that will result in.

3. Rate your stadium’s cleanliness and menu options.

Well, prior to the start of the renovation program at Neyland Stadium (brought on by the new management after the Big Dickey retired) it wasn’t all that great. Now, however, it’s pretty darn good — including the usual stadium faire plus things like Barbeque and, my favorite, Petros.

As for the decor, it has improved substantially(and will continue to do so for the next few years). The remodeling project at Neyland (it’s pronounced “Knee-land” for those of you who aren’t from Tennessee) has majorly improved the look, feel, comfort, and safety of the stadium. Of course, there will always be those who miss “the Trough” in the men’s restrooms, but they’re weirdos.

"The Trough"

4. As an incentive to provide your valued feedback, you will be entered into a drawing for exciting prizes! What one prize would you like for your program?

More than anything, I’d like to have one game — just one stinking game — where I don’t have to constantly listen to every hanger-on and his brother bellyaching about how much they wish we had a different coach.

You’re tired of the Great Punkin. We get it — we got it six years ago. Just let it go and watch the damn game…

The Great Punkin -- A Constant Topic of Discussion

5. Since we’re all about choices, take one of the following two options for entertainment’s sake:

a. What’s your most memorable experience involving a comment card?

b. If your program were a casual dining chain, which one would it be? Yes, this is a tricky question because the defining characteristic of a casual dining chain is its sameness. No one said this Roundtable would be easy. Bonus points if you can make a compelling case that your program is Chotchkie’s or Flingers.

b. Chili’s: It’s the sort of place that looks neat — lots of signs, people smiling, great sounding items on the menu, presents itself as “hip,” lots of bright colors. It’s the sort of place that tells you, “No matter what you have, you’re going to have fun here!” The reality is, however, that sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s just plain lousy.

Oh yeah, and irrespective of what you order, you’ll probably get the runs…

– Go Figure …

Images Courtesy of: Petros.com • PartMule.com • SI.com / J. Daniel / Getty Images

About the Author:  "Lawvol" -- I'm just a guy living in North Carolina who has an unnatural fascination with the color orange. Just because I'm a Tennessee alum and die-hard Volunteer fan doesn't mean that I can't poke a little fun at the Big Orange and anybody else for that matter. Feel free to complain all you want. >> Read more from this author

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