Archive for July, 2008

My, how things have changed…

If you’ve been keeping up with the happenings around Big Orange Country, you may be aware that Coach Fulmer spent some of his time post-SEC Media Days this week visiting the ESPN broadcast facilities in Bristol, Connecticut.  Not to be one who dwells overly in the past, I found this to be somewhat ironic considering past dealings between ESPN and the University of Tennessee.

I still remember, the battle of wills which played out between Tennessee and ESPN beginning the week before the Vols’ 1999 game against Memphis.  The Vols were the reigning national champions, and were riding that wave for all that it was worth, until a guy named Tom Farrey posted the first of a seemingly endless series of articles on ESPN.com alleging academic improprieties in the Tennessee football program.

This long-running storyline led to an near war between the program and ESPN, which ended up including an inquiry by the NCAA and more hand-wringing by Vol fans than they probably care to recount.  During the process, then head of composition for the English Department, Linda Bensel-Meyers, and then head of academic services for the athletic department, Carmen Tegano, would come under intense scrutiny by the public, the media, and the university.  Bensel-Meyers said Vol footballers were cheating, Tegano denied the claims.  ESPN did everything it could to keep the pot bubbling.

During that time period, ESPN was perhaps the single most-hated organization in the hearts of the orange-clad faithful.  There were numerous instances of Vol fans blasting ESPN for it’s tactics, booing ESPN personalities, and more than a few “choice” signs displayed at various encounters with ESPN’s College Game Day.

Needless to say, most Tennessee fans loathed ESPN at the time…

Of course, it didn’t help that Game Day’s Chris Fowler had referred to many Tennessee fans as trailer park trash in the wake of Peyton Manning not receiving the Heisman Trophy in 1997.  So souring the relationship between the school and the media giant was not really all that difficult.

Even after all of the controversy surrounding academic violations had quieted, Farrey again barbed Tennessee in 2004 with revelations that the Great Punkin was the “Deepthroat” of the NCAA’s investigation into recruiting violations which resulted in substantial penalties against the Alabama Crimson Tide — setting off a backlash by the Tide faithful against Fulmer.

The funny thing is that the disclosure of Fulmer as the “confidential informant” for the NCAA is — for all practical purposes — what led to him getting served a subpoena at Media Days only days before he landed in Connecticut to see the home of the self-proclaimed “Worldwide Leader in Sports.”

While at ESPN, Fulmer made multiple live appearances on both television and radio, recorded several segments for the upcoming season, and met with a bevy of personalities.

[HT to Tennessee FanDome]

By all reports, Fulmer sincerely appreciated the opportunity and enjoyed his time at the ESPN nerve-center.  Commenting on the visit, Fulmer stated, “I’m thrilled to be going through what they call the ‘car wash’ here today.“  What a difference a few years makes.

Considering that over the last decade ESPN and the Tennessee Volunteers have traded allegations of “whitewash,” “hogwash,” and “washed-up,” I suppose a “car wash,” is a step-up…

– Go Figure …

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Image Courtesy of: ESPN • Video Courtesy of: Tennessee FanDome & ESPN

King for the week!  This week’s Roundtable is hosted here at Gate 21

Oh, to be in Camelot!!!

Having, as Joel put it, taken the the sword from Rocky Top Talk — pointy-end first — and due to a complete lack of standards, this week’s Big Orange Roundtable is being hosted here at Gate 21.

At present the roundtable includes: 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, Fulmer’s Belly, Gate 21, Rocky Top Talk, Loser With Socks, the World According to MoonDog (a/k/a MoonDog Sports), The Power T, Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain, and the SouthEastern Sports Blog. If you’d like to join, feel free to let us know.

In furtherance of our quest for the answers to life’s burning questions — at least respecting the Tennessee Volunteers, here are this week’s questions — courtesy of your truly — along with my particularly meaningless answers.

Week 4

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1) Thus far we’ve made a number of predictions for the 2008 Vols.  Now, let’s take the next step: What are your pre-season predictions for each of Tennessee’s regular season games this year (along with any explanations you feel are needed)?

Those are my pre-season thoughts, and like all pre-season predictions, they are utterly meaningless…

2) Gameday routines, we all have them.  What are your gameday rituals, especially those that are completely irrational, grounded in baseless superstition, or otherwise defy explanation?

Well, as I recounted in Week 2, my gameday ritual is one which includes a lot of driving, and little time for tailgating.  Thus, I suppose my gamedays are a little less “ritualistic” than some.  Still, I have my tried and tested routines which I tend to stick to closely.

Since Sam & Andy’s closed, I generally eat my pre-game meal at Smokey’s in the University Center — It’s not grand faire, but at least the lines aren’t that long.  As a general rule, I don’t eat much before a game — especially big games — due to the fact that I’d just as soon not end up spending my time in the Neyland Stadium bathrooms, remodeled or not.

As a general rule, I rarely drink any alcohol on gamedays — not because I’m a teetotaler, but because I find it is generally ill-advised to show up to the stadium “overcome by a multitude of circumstances.“  I have never favored drinking before a game — mainly because I want to be able to remember the game.  There have, however, been a few games which have made me wish I had gotten knee-crawlin’ drunk before kickoff, if only to dull the pain, and to encourage explosive projectile vomiting on opposing fans.

My biggest tradition is that I smoke a big nasty cigar before each game, and — if we win — one afterwards.  This is really the only time I smoke at all.  I do realize that they take years off your life, but they are the ones at the end, and they aren’t any good anyway.  Besides, people tend to get out of your way and run for cover when you have a flaming stick protruding from your mouth which smells like smoldering death.  I guess I blame Doctor Julian, and his constant cigar smoking for that one.

Oh!  What’s that Hell you’re playing?

Dr. W.J. Julian, Director of Bands Emeritus

After I have incinerated my taste buds, I usually wait for the Pride of the Southland to do their “Salute to the Hill” and enter the stadium.  I waited for the Vol Walk once — in 2002 — but after seeing Casey Clausen come pimp-strutting by wearing a suit the color of something that came out of a baby’s diaper, immediately before getting annihilated by Florida, I’ve skipped it.

Once inside the stadium, I loudly heckle Bobby Denton as he announces the line-ups.  It is interesting how skillfully he can butcher some of the names — despite the fact there are printed pronunciations in the media guide.

Then I settle back and enjoy watching inattentive fans take footballs in the head as the kicking team warms up, before settling in for a 4-hour battle — my lucky towel always tucked in my belt.

Since they added them to the concessions at the game, I usually eat a Petro at some point in the game, mainly because I love those things…

Hmmm, now that I think about it, I’m pretty white-bread…

3) Crompton vs. Tebow?   Discuss…

This is naturally one of the hot topics this year as the “Straight Outta Crompton” era begins.  The similarities between these two quarterbacks are striking — both have the ability to throw on you, and both have the willingness and the skills to run straight at opposing defenses.  Obviously, Tim Tebow has experience on his side, and a trophy which — according to some — has elevated him to the status of deity.  By the same token, Jonathan Crompton has a fearlessness which Tebow has never really seemed to demonstrate.

Tebow managed 20 rushing and 20 passing touchdowns in 2007, and broke pretty much every record for running quarterbacks.  I question, however, whether that was as much a function of his innate abilities as it was Florida’s willingness to sellout on a new offensive scheme which, at the time, was somewhat unconventional.  As their final 9-4 record for 2007 shows, the Florida Gators were very beatable (apparently just not by Tennessee).  The biggest weakness for the Florida offense last year was the running backs — they really didn’t have one.  Tebow, who runs like a fullback, is at his best running when in close quarters, either up the middle, or on sweeps and draws.  As we all know he has exhibited great speed and elusive moves, and is a serious threat on any play.  Still, at times his decision making has essentially rendered Florida’s offense one-dimensional.  Saint Tebow versus the world.  Furthermore, while Tebow ran like a madman throughout the season, he did so at a price — suffering several injuries which hampered his production.

Crompton, on the other hand, is still somewhat of an unknown.  As he made clear while filling in for Erik Ainge in 2006, he has a cannon of an arm.  Like a cannon, however, sometimes his aim is … well … not what it could be.  That said, with an extra year of experience under his belt, it would seem likely that his throwing abilities could have only improved.  As I said previously, I have some concerns about his mental game — whether he has the discipline to make smart decisions in choosing his receivers and his routes.  By the same token, Crompton has a running style which really defies explanation when it comes to running quarterback.  at 6′4″, 220″, he has the size of Fullback, but runs more like a traditional running back.  His absolute lack of fear while running — including his complete willingness to drop his head and plant a helmet in the chest of tacklers, makes him seem more threatening in the open field than Tebow.  The speed and agility he has shown in the past makes him a serious threat in the open field, albeit less so between the tackles.  If, Crompton has stepped up to the next level and is mentally prepared, he could be an absolute terror this season — especially under the tuteledge of new offensive coordinator Dave Clawson.  Furthermore, thus far it has seemed that Crompton has a greater potential to burn defenses with the long ball while passing than Tebow, but — again — his track record is limited and it is hard to say for certain.

In the end, we probably don’t have enough information to make a fair comparison between the two … yet.  Hopefully, Crompton will come out full force from the start.  That said with both a new quarterback and a new offensive coordinator, it is likely that there will be some miscues in the early games.  By the midpoint of the season, however, I strongly believe that Crompton has the potential to be every bit as good as Tebow.

Needless to say, I am seriously looking forward to seeing them go head-to-head when they meet on 20 September.

4) Will the Vols manage to make it to the SEC Championship Game again this season — either outright, or through the backdoor?  Why or why not?

Well, in all honesty, the Vols probably never should have been anywhere near Atlanta for the SEC Championship game last year.  Still, when it came down to it, they earned the trip and were one boneheaded pass away from potentially beating the LSU Tigers.  Thus, I guess they were better than most gave them credit for.

Be that as it may, I think it is highly unlikely that the Vols make the return trip this year.  Though it pains me to say it, I have Florida picked to go to the Championship from the SEC East to play either LSU or Auburn.  I believe that Tennessee — being the perpetual bridesmaid — will finish second, just ahead of a 2-conference loss Georgia (with the tie going to Tennessee due to a head-to-head win).  If the Vols manage to somehow beat Florida or Auburn — or miraculously both of them — then that would change things dramatically (as if that were not self-evident).

In the end, I simply think that the offense will be too new this year, and thus will have a difficult time during September.  With new starting quarterback Jonathan Crompton, and a new offensive scheme under Dave Clawson, I simply think it will take the Vols at least half the season to find offensive consistency.  Unfortunately, the Vols schedule (as always) is heavily weighted to the front end.  That means the chance of two early-season conference losses which will effectively knock them out of contention for the SEC East.

That said, they could be hell-on-wheels by 2009…

5) Of all the coaches in the SEC who do you currently consider to be the best?  Why?

I know a lot of folks will say Les Miles, Tommy Tubberville, or maybe even Urban Meyer.  For me, however, I have got to go with Sylvester Croom who has coached the Mississippi State Bulldogs for the last 5 years.  When Croom took over, the Bulldogs were awful — they just plain sucked.  After 3 years of winning only 3 games, however, Croom finally seemed to turn the corner in Starkville in 2007 finishing 8-5 (4-4 SEC) for the season — the first winning season for Miss. State since 2000.

While I realize his win / loss record is not what it could be (17-30 overall) managing to bring the Bulldogs back to respectability is, in my book, a major accomplishment.  Let’s be frank here, it’s called “Stark“ville for a reason.  Recruiting for the Bulldogs is probably as challenging as any other school in the SEC, perhaps with the exception of Vanderbilt.  Yet, somehow, Croom has managed to right the ship and bring the program back from the bowels of football hell.

What’s more, this year’s team returns 14 starters — all of whom were recruited by Croom — and looks to be set to make another strong showing this year.  They should be even better than they were in 2007, and I’d be highly surprised if the Bulldogs don’t end up in a bowl this year.  I have real fear when it comes to the Vols game against the Bulldogs this year.  My only hope is that the boys in orange don’t “overlook” the cowbell clan — if they do, they will lose.

I sincerely hope that Croom keeps building on his successes from 2007 and continues to bring Miss. State back to the forefront of the SEC West.  It’s one thing to win at LSU, Florida, or Auburn — if you can win at Mississippi State, you can win anywhere.

The Rest of the Roundtable:

Having wasted your time on my largely meaningless and insignificant thoughts for this week, go check out what the other roundtablers (who actually know what they are talking about) have to say.  I’ll be updating the links as each new post comes up — that is, unless they all refuse to answer my asinine questions.  Assuming that they do answer the questions and that you do not value the lining of your stomach, feel free to come back on Friday to see the round-up of what everyone had say (In no particular order):

• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• YMSWWC
• World According to MoonDog
• Fulmer’s Belly
• Loser With Socks
• The Power T
• Rocky Top Talk
• SouthEastern Sports Blog

It’s nice to be king, well, at least until they behead you…

– Go Figure …

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Images Courtesy of: DawgSports.com • The University of Tennessee

Just a quick update on my efforts to remodel here at Gate 21 as football season approaches…

After a hiatus of about a month or so, my “Headlines, Links & Lies … LIVE!” widget is back in the sidebar here at Gate 21.  For the moment it lives in the right sidebar (for those of you who are directionally challenged, that’s right over there ).

Thanks to the wonderful functionality of Yahoo Pipes, this new version of the widget will now self update with current stories from all of my favorite blogs across the Blogosphere.

In other site news, in case you haven’t noticed, I am in the process of updating and revamping my blogroll and links as well.  I have tried to organize all my many links by category, and to give a little extra visibility to those links which are at the very top of my list (my absolute favorites are noted with the icon). At present, all of my blogroll links are in the left sidebar, but I will probably be splitting them up soon, if only to balance things out a bit.

I encourage both of my readers to give both the new “Headlines, Links & Lies … LIVE!” widget and the updated blogroll a look periodically.  There is some really good stuff out there worth giving a look, and hopefully these additions will help you find it a bit easier.

At any rate, let me know any thoughts you may have on the remodeling around the joint — whether good or bad.

After all, as I have always said, if you can’t be good, be good at it…

– Go Figure …

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Update: I just discovered — more or less by accident — a new addition to the Vol blogosphere: The View from the Hill.  Good writing (something I’ve never been accused of) and the editor is a Tennessee student.  Give it a look and welcome him into the Vol-blogosphere.

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Given the events of the last 24 hours, I think it is fair to say that Phillip Fulmer  is tired of lawyers.  Despite the fact that I am a lawyer, I would oftentimes tend to agree with him.

Having now had a chance to look at the Complaint ( PDF) filed by Wendell Smith in his defamation lawsuit against the NCAA, it seems clear — as if it wasn’t already — that Smith’s claims are as ridiculous as they are inflammatory.  Joel over at RTT (who happens to be a fellow lawyer) did a fine job of walking through the allegations of the Complaint earlier today, and I’m not going to rehash what he has already said with great clarity.  If you haven’t read his analysis of the complaint, you really should give it a look.

I do, however, have a few observations and thoughts that I’d like to add to Joel’s impressions — if for no other reason than to establish that like all attorneys I like to hear myself talk and sound like I know what I am talking about (sigh).

Fulmer Did Not Have to be Served While in the State of Alabama

As I noted in a comment over at Rocky Top Talk, Fulmer never had to be served while in the state of Alabama — any claims otherwise are absolutely false.

Under the Full, Faith and Credit Clause of the US Constitution (a clause which contributed heavily to some annoyingly intractable disputes over states refusing to honor the laws of another state which ended in a small conflict known as the Civil War) along with the Comity doctrines, each state has to honor and enforce the subpoenas of other states, including having them served.

I have personally had out-of-state subpoenas commissioned on numerous occasions for deponents in other states. I will say this — it is a royal pain-in-the-butt to do, but any lawyer can do it if they take the time to consult the Rules of Civil Procedure for their state and the home state of a deponent (or just call the clerk of court in each location).

There is a very well established system for accomplishing this sort of thing, which any lawyer worth his or her salt is aware of (or could become aware of with little effort). So any claims by Smith’s attorneys that they had to serve Fulmer while he was in the state is an outright, baldface, lie. Period, it is not even open to discussion.

As an attorney who has represented a lot of healthcare providers, businesses, contractors, and so forth over the years in highly contentious cases, there is only one reason that a party pulls a stunt like what occurred yesterday — to prove a point or gain publicity. It is gamesmanship, it is unprofessional, and irrespective of Coach Fulmer’s involvement it is the sort of tactic a slimeball attorney (a/k/a the kind that generally gives the legal profession a bad name) pulls.

I honestly could care less whether the suit is about Alabama or whether Coach Fulmer was involved at all — it’s pure “Bush-League” lawyering, and it is reprehensible.

I’ve got no problem with Alabama or it’s fans – heck, I’ve been posting nice things about them for the last few weeks — but this isn’t about Alabama at all. For me this is about a rogue booster and his dirtball lawyers. It is also about the “rules of engagement” when it comes to legal disputes.

Personally, I know judges who would sanction the attorneys in this case at the drop of a hat—and not a minor sanction either. While I agree it can be tough to prove, I agree with Joel that this situation is terribly suspect and Coach Fulmer’s legal team should explore the possibility of pursuing an abuse of process claim against Smith’s attorneys.

Coach Fulmer was Right in Referring to the Suit as “Crap“

Proving defamation is a difficult task under the best of circumstances.  I cannot recount the number of times I have had a defendant I have represented ask whether they could file a counter-claim against a plaintiff for defamation due to allegations leveled against them.  The reason I have never personally filed a defamation suit is because they are nearly impossible to prove.  The reason for this is a little thing known as the First Amendment.

First of all, as Joel noted “truth” is a defense to a suit alleging defamation.  That said, in most cases, what is said about an individual need not even be true to be protected.  So long as the alleged defamer reasonably believed that what they were saying was true — even if it was not — then they are not liable for defamation.

Second, many types of statements are afforded complete protection depending upon the context in which they arise.  Good examples of this are: papers filed with a Court, statements made in Court while under oath, debates in legislative bodies, and so on.  One area where a healthy degree of protection is afforded is in the case of individuals speaking in a context where they themselves have a vested interest in the subject matter of the statements made.  For example, if a businessman tells a potential client that his services are better than his competitor because his competitor is a mouth-breathing imbecile, well — as a general rule — he is allowed to do so.  In this case, it seems likely that what the NCAA stated could potentially fall within these sorts of exceptions.

Third, as a general rule, opinion can not be the subject of a defamation action — only statements asserted as being “facts.“  Thus, if Ghost of Neyland writes an article stating “Lawvol is a complete and utter moron.  His mindless drivel is enough to make you want to bash your brains out…” ignoring the fact that this is, in fact true, it is simply an expression of opinion.  If, however, MoonDog writes an article stating that “Lawvol has a bad case of the piles, and is a card-carrying member of Al Queda.” well, he would have made a factual averment which could potentially be the subject of a defamation action.

In Smith’s case, the allegations are, in my opinion, pled “minimally” — in other words, I would have expected more.  It seems to me that, while some of the statements Smith takes issue with could be taken as fact (especially those relating to his actually paying Kenny Smith), and thus could potentially be the subject of a defamation action — but that only gets him to the courthouse door.  In other words, if the statements are in fact untrue, the NCAA knew they were untrue, and the statements didn’t fall into one of the exceptions discussed above (or one of a number of other exceptions) then Smith might have the right to try the case in front of a jury.

The public statement made by Smith’s attorneys to the Birmingham News was that he had evidence that “The NCAA violated its own policies not once, but twice.“  My thoughts on that are simple:

So what?

The question is not whether the NCAA violated its own policies, but whether they defamed Smith — the two are not the same.  Furthermore, who cares? Smith’s attorneys did not plead anything related to policy violations in their complaint so whether the NCAA violated it’s policies is irrelevant.

In the end, Fulmer was dead-on.  This case is about lawyer’s trying to grab as much publicity as they can.

Where Does it all go From Here?

In the end, were I a betting man, my money would be on Fulmer not appearing for a deposition on the 25th of September.  I am sure Fulmer’s lawyers will be filing a Motion to Quash the subpoena — as set forth in Rule 45 of the Alabama Rules of Civil Procedure — in the coming days.  That will lead to more piles of paper being filed, hearings, and general delays of the lawyerly sort.  While he may end up giving a deposition in the case, I would be highly surprised if it occurs remotely close to the time set forth in the subpoena.  That’s the good news.

The bad news is that, regardless of what happens, Coach Fulmer will have to pay his lawyers to represent him in the matter, and probably pay them a considerable amount.  That is unfortunate because now, without even having the rights of a party in the suit, Fulmer is getting hit in the pocket book for Wendell Smith’s boneheaded desire to grind the axe.  While I am sure Coach Fulmer can afford his legal fees, the fact is that he shouldn’t have to have reason to call upon his attorneys in the first place.

Even more annoying, is the fact that despite the fact that it has been over six years since the NCAA handed down its infractions report against the Crimson Tide, here we are still being forced to rehash the whole thing again.  Thus, no matter what we try to do, both Tide fans and Vol fans alike will have to put up with more shenanigans, more distractions, and more side shows throughout this football season.

I miss the days when the Third Saturday in October simply meant football, and not Court Orders.  Hopefully, we will return to that sooner rather than later…

– Go Figure …

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Disclaimer:  Though a practicing attorney, the author of this article is not licensed to practice before the Unified Courts of the State of Alabama.  The comments and observations offered in this post are intended as editorial commentary and are published solely for the sake of discussion.  This article is not intended to render any legal opinions and/or legal advice, and should not be relied upon in any matters concerning legal rights, responsibilities, or obligations.

Only in the SEC do things like this happen…

One day Tim Tebow is being described as the second coming of the Messiah (HT to Joel at RTT), and then the next, Phillip Fulmer is getting served with a subpoena in a case filed against the NCAA by Wendell Smith’s ambulance chaser less-than-well-known attorneys.

Undeterred, however, the Great Punkin has fired back.  In a statement released this evening Fulmer responded:

I do have to be a little bit careful — a lot more than I’d like to be.

I was getting out of the car and was tossed a piece of paper that I picked up, stuck it in with a whole bunch of things that I had been reading on my way in from the airport and handed it to Bud Ford to put in his briefcase and forgot about it. I got a bunch of questions (from the media) about a subpoena that I hadn’t seen.

I wasn’t expecting a subpoena but maybe every time I go to Birmingham I probably will be expecting a subpoena. As it turns out its some sort of subpoena to do something, and I will let the attorneys all handle that. The issue is its all crap and they are trying to use the press trying to use a day that’s very special to the Southeastern conference for players and the coaches.

Because they can’t win legally they are trying to play the game in the press I am more than a little PO’d about any part of that. It’s sad that a few publicity hunting lawyers in one of our sister states want to keep open a chapter of history that has long since been closed and as far as I’m concerned will stay closed. Obviously this is an effort to distract our football team or distract me in some way. The last time this happened we won the division with two freshman quarterbacks. We won’t be distracted I had a good conversation with the commissioner about it.

About being in Birmingham, I wasn’t trying to mislead anybody. I hadn’t looked at anything.

I’m just disappointed that Fulmer failed to mention that his legal team was “workin’ like heck” — that would have been priceless…

More tomorrow, once I have had a chance to think about this a little more.

Oh, and if anyone out there in the blogosphere has a copy of the pleadings in this case (especially the complaint) please email me — I am looking everywhere for a copy.

– Go Figure …

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Statement Courtesy of: Knoxville News-Sentinel/GoVolsXtra

As 3SIB noted earlier today, the “Bama Boys” are at it again.

The Knoxville News-Sentinel and Tuscaloosa News are both reporting that Coach Phillip Fulmer was served with a deposition subpoena while attending the SEC Media Days in Birmingham earlier today by attorneys representing disgruntled ex-Alabama booster Wendell Smith in his defamation and libel suit against the NCAA. The deposition notice calls for Fulmer to appear for deposition on 25 September — two days before the Tennessee Volunteers take on the Auburn Tigers.

Click to view a PDF version of the Subpoena

Read the rest of this entry »

Check out the Roundtable Round-up with Joel’s Thoughts on our efforts (or lack there of) for this week…

This Week’s Roundtable Host: Rocky Top Talk

Onward and Upward!

This week’s Big Orange Roundtable is hosted by Joel over at Rocky Top Talk.

At present the roundtable includes: 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, Fulmer’s Belly, Gate 21, Rocky Top Talk, Loser With Socks, the World According to MoonDog (a/k/a MoonDog Sports), The Power T, Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain, and the SouthEastern Sports Blog. If you’d like to join, feel free to let us know. If you want more information on how the roundtable works, you can check out Ghost of Neyland’s wonderful introduction over at 3SIB.

Anyway, here are my thoughts for the week:

Week 3

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1) For some inexplicable reason, Phillip Fulmer invites Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Steve Spurrier, Nick Saban, Les Miles, and Tommy Tuberville over to his palatial estate for a dinner party. At 2:00 a.m. the next morning, The Papa discovers that Smokey IX has been murdered. Who did it, with what, and where? Think Clue. You know, Mr. Mustard in the parlor with the candlestick?

After dinner, Fulmer gave Smokey a few hot dogs from his private stash before heading upstairs with his bride, Vicky. After making it to the bedroom, Phillip decided that he wanted to grab a quick doughnut from his other private stash. While heading back toward the kitchen, he was confronted by the ghost of Bear Bryant who warned him that Smokey was in danger.

Shocked and frightened, Fulmer rushed downstairs to find Smokey lying on the floor, a half-eaten hot dog left lying by his side. Fulmer immediately called Lieutenant Columbo to investigate (after he ate the rest of the hot dog).

Once on the scene, Columbo began interviewing the others. Mark Richt claimed to be admiring himself in the mirror in his favorite bright red thong. Tubberville said he was adding another coat of shellac to his hair before retiring for the night. Saban claimed to be counting all the money he had fleeced from Alabama donors in his room. Meyer stated that he was siting with his legs crossed offering a burnt offering before his statue of Tim Tebow.  Les Miles had been carefully placing his hat in its protective case for the night. Finally, Spurrier claimed that he had been on the phone with a local sports-talk show under the pseudonym “Homer from Sequatchie County.“

At first Columbo was stumped considering that all the alibis checked out. Then the case turned. Columbo discovered that Nick Saban had accidentally left his webcam running while counting his money on the bed. It had recorded sounds in the background which, at first seemed unrecognizable, but then when played at 300 times normal speed became understandable as a human speaking.

Columbo rushed downstairs, the others right on his heels, to find Ed Orgeron hiding in the bushes pretending to be a Maple tree. Fulmer grabbed Orgeron while Tubberville tied his hands, and Saban stole his wallet. Columbo put it to him straight.

“So, it looks like we caught you…“

“I say, I say, I say, it war an assidunt. I’s was a jest a’chomin heah to talk to dis heah fine group ah koaches whahn I come up-pon da little puppah. I’s was ah jest a talkin’ to heam and a scrahathin’ heahs eaahs whan alla-da-suddin’ heah just collapsas. I say, I say I dohn’t know whaht heppened!“

All of the sudden, Vicky Fulmer screamed… “Look!“

“Hey now, I wasn’t taking any money from anybody. I mean I was just standing here minding my own business…“

“Not you, Nick, look, Smokey’s back up and walking!” Vicky pointed to a dazed and groggy Smokey staggering from side to side.

“Hallelujah, Tim be praised!  The omnisicent Tebow has looked down on this animal’s plight and blessed him. He has been raised from the dead!” Meyer exclaimed as he fell to his knees.

“I don’t think so sir. Exactly how long were you talking to the dog, sir?” Columbo asked

“Wheall, lessee… I’s ah’suhppose it was abaht fie-to-tenh mannutes. Yehsir.” Orgeron replied.

“I think I’ve solved the case.” Columbo nodded to himself. “Mr. Foghorn … Orgeron here came to see about getting a job with these here coaches, but got distracted by the cute dog, and set upon lamenting his tale to the pooch. At first, Smokey was enjoying the attention, but then things started to get fuzzy and he collapsed. You see, all of the hot-air coming from Orgeron caused Smokey to temporarily lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. He wasn’t actually dead. His body just entered a state of suspended animation to avoid any more damage to his brain from what Ogeron was saying. There was no murder here…“

“Well that’s a relief, I had just assumed it was some of my players, and was trying to think up a lie to tell the media.” Spurrier chimed in.

“Well, how do you explain the ghost of Bear Bryant that I saw upstairs?” Fulmer asked.

“That was no ghost, that was Johnny Majors. He’d polished off a bottle of bourbon and was — well, overcome by a multitude of circumstances — which led him to think he was Bear Bryant. I’ve seen it before. Likely as not, he was just looking for some eggs to throw on your car.” they all nodded to themselves knowing this to be true.

“Well, I suppose that wraps up my business here. You folks have a nice evening.” Columbo said as he shut his notebook.

“Thank you so much Lieutenant, is there anything we can do to repay you?” asked Vicky Fulmer.

“Just one thing ma’am — tell your husband to leave a few in the racks next time he and the coaching staff hit Krispy Kreme. The beat officers would appreciate it…“

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Just a little FYI to both of you who read …

With football season approaching quickly (Whooo!) I’ve decided to do a little housekeeping here at Gate 21 before the silly season begins. Given the fact that I seem completely incapable of just leaving things alone when they are working, I am going to remodel a bit, do some cleaning, re-organize here and there, and generally muck the place up. In all likelihood I’ll end up having at least one or more major crashes as I make changes and create problems.

Bearing that in mind — just like the ongoing renovations at Neyland Stadium — I will be kicking up a little dust here at the Gate over the next few weeks. Thus, if things look odd or unusual, don’t worry too much. Of course, if they stay that way for an extended period, or if the blog appears to have completely “gone up to be with Jesus” feel free to email me and let me know what you see. This is especially true for anyone using Internet Explorer since it is notoriously mean and nasty to websites and this site is optimized to be viewed with the Firefox Internet Browser (which is the best browser there is in my opinion and is available for free download).

Along the same lines, I am still figuring out what is new with the latest version of WordPress — which is what makes Gate 21 possible — and thus far have only caused problems once. I’m sure I’ll make up for that lack of ineptitude in the near future. To make matters even worse, this post is the first one that I have posted from a new piece of editing software I am trying out.

Needless to say, there are a lot of reasons for this blog potentially crashing and burning like Tennessee Volunteers did versus the Florida Gators last year…

Thus, be prepared for some bumps and mishaps. To make sure everyone Is safe, however, Gus (my Volunteer-esque “mascot” in the header) will be wearing a hard hat until we get things squared away.

Either way, I’m still going to be posting and operating business as usual, just looking a bit different as I remodel Gate 21 for football season.

After all, even if I don’t have anything to say worth reading, at least I can make things look pretty…

– Go Figure …

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This Week’s Host: The Power T

Week Zwei

(That’s German for “2″)

This week’s Big Orange Roundtable is hosted by none other than The Power T, who has served up a heapin’ helpin’ of questions for we “Volggers” to consider. Being that I am all about riding the coat-tails of others (and the fact they haven’t kicked me out of the Roundtable … yet) here are Gate 21’s thoughts on all that is this week in the world of Tennessee Football.

(Questions in Sort-o-Teal-like color)

1) A position of strength for the Vols this fall should be wide receivers. Which 2 guys will emerge from the pack to start the opener against UCLA alongside Lucas Taylor? Why?

First of all, I think that Lucas Taylor is going to be a starter — probably from start to finish. He is the most tested and reliable of the receiving corps this year. As for the other spots, well, it gets more difficult there.

The conventional wisdom would be to go with Austin Rogers and Josh Briscoe (not to be confused with Briscoe Darling) — both have had significant playing time and key catches. They were solid down the stretch (especially in the overtime win against Kentucky, where Rogers saved the day with a huge 2-point conversion catch), however, they both had a few key weaknesses which hampered their overall production. Both had some big drops at key moments, and both appeared to have some shortcomings at times when it came to field awareness. That said, both of these upperclassmen now have an additional year of experience under their belt, and will no longer have to live in the shadow of the amazing and talented Robert Meachem.

The “Other” Briscoe

That said, I really like what I saw from Gerald Jones in his limited playing time last season, and something in my gut tells me that this talented sophomore will secure — at a minimum — 50% of one of the remaining starting spots. Based upon what I understand Dave Clawson’s offensive model to be, it seems that Jones would make a perfect fit — especially when it is time to go deep.

I am a huge fan of using the Tight End as an additional passing threat (something that I have a feeling we may see under Dave Clawson’s tricked-out-offense), and I hope that we end up using Jeff Cottam more in that role to complement and build upon the strengths of this year’s receivers — thereby making the Vols less one-dimensional and tougher to defend against. Either way, it seems to me that — despite losing a gamebreaker like Meachem — the receivers will be much stronger as a unit this season on the whole, largely due to experience and having more than just one go-to receiver. I feel this is especially true considering that, with Jonathan Crompton under center, it is fair to assume that opposing defenses will now have to honor the possibility that No. 8 may come running at them “Straight Outta Crompton” as well as throw to one of the wide-outs.

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Rivalries are the essence of college football.

Rivalries — and I mean “real” rivalries, not just the “Oh, I really hope we beat Team X” sort of competition — are what drives so much of the passion that comes with college football season and what compels so many of us to travel great distances, expend huge sums of money, lose sleep, risk personal injury, get arrested for disorderly conduct, and the like for the sole purpose of seeing our team play against our fiercest rival. It is the fire-in-the-belly that keeps us coming back for more. It is a question of pride, of respect, of tradition, and (sometimes) insanity.

The funny thing about rivalries is that they are not always two-way streets. That is, just because Kentucky Wildcats fans feel in their heart that the New England Patriots are their most intense and hated rival, it doesn’t necessarily follow that the Patriots care about Kentucky at all (except to the extent that Bill Bellichick is willing to rent a helicopter and hire some off-duty FBI agents to tape the Kentucky practices, but that’s really nothing the slightest bit out of the ordinary).

My point is this: rivalries are special and they require … the only word I can think of is “maintenance.” As the old axiom goes, “there is a thin line between love and hate” — they are opposite ends of the same consuming emotion. In our “real” lives — independent of the sports world – strong relationships or aversions require something to keep them going. Anyone who is married (or perhaps used to be) knows this is true. By the same token, for most people, the same is true for hateful relationships (the exception to this being people like Adolph Hitler, members of the KKK, and the like – they simply enjoy hatred too much, which is why they have special condos reserved for them at the warmer end of Hell). For most of us, however, it is hard to continue truly despising someone, unless they give us a reason to do so. The fundamental point here is that, over time, both good and bad emotions cool and fade.

The same is true for college football rivalries. The peculiar thing is that, unlike personal relationships, a heaping helping of animus and acid can be a good thing when it comes to football. Thus, keeping the flames of animosity burning is very important. Thus, I pose a simple question:

What is the “state” of football rivalry at Tennessee?

As a general rule, I think that the core rivalries between Tennessee and others are healthy and hateful. Then again, precisely who is Tennessee’s biggest rival?

Throughout the history of the Tennessee Football program, rivalries have often been heated, but not always lasting. For orange-blooded fans who came of age at any time during the period spanning from the late 1950s up until the early 1990s, there really was little question about who the Vols’ most despised rival is and always will be. Falling within this era, it is easy for me to give rivalry a face…

I know the true colors of mine enemy, and he is as crimson as blood in the vein.

Yes, for me Tennessee’s greatest rival will always be the Alabama Crimson Tide — there is no other rivalry in my mind which even comes close. It is a rivalry which spans decades — beginning in the late 1930s and the era of General Neyland, flowing into the late 1950s and 60s and the emergence of the man known as “Bear,” and continuing up to the present. To me, the truest rivalry for Tennessee is its blood-feud with the Tide. The Tennessee / Alabama series is Dixie’s great football war. To me, the most important game of the season will always be known not by its participants, but by its date…

…The Third Saturday in October.

This is what I have always known, this is what resonates with me. For some followers of the Big Orange, however, the face of rivalry takes on a decidedly different hue. Most notably, Vol fans who cemented their bonds in the 1990s — in many instances — consider not the Tide, but the Florida Gators to be the most fearsome rivalry for Tennessee. Given the course of SEC football history for the last 15 years or so, this is understandable.

Still others — due to location, personal experience, perceived slights, the balance of power, where their ex-spouses went to school, how much they’ve had to drink, or whether it is a Tuesday — consider other teams to be Tennessee’s greatest rival, such as the Georgia Bulldogs or the Memphis Tigers (which I simply don’t get).

Thus, I suppose it is fair to ask who is Tennessee’s greatest rival?

If you look at rivalries in terms of tradition and history, I really think it is hard to argue with the notion that Tennessee and Alabama have fought one another doggedly for a longer period of time than any of the other schools in the SEC. My blood still simmers at the thought that Alabama is one of only a handful of schools against whom Tennessee has an all-time losing record. In 89 contests since 1901, Tennessee is 38-44-7 all-time against the Tide. Even more bothersome for me were the two noteworthy streaks by Alabama during my lifetime: 1971-1981 and 1986-94. During those 20 seasons, Tennessee’s record against the Tide was an abysmal 0-19-1.

Statistics like that make you wake up at 3:00 am and retch your guts out — therein lies the birth of rivalry.

Then, of course there are the Florida Gators. Surprisingly to some, Tennessee and Florida have only played 36 times in the schools’ collective histories. Tennessee clings to a lead in the series at 19-17-0. That statistic, however, is really a tale of two different eras. From 1916 until 1990, Tennessee was 14-6-0 versus the Gators, but from 1991 to the present, Tennessee is only 5-11-0. Those numbers speak volumes about the way that series has changed since the day a guy named Steve Spurrier walked into Gainesville and — for the first time in the history of the University of Florida — made the Gators respectable. From there it was a short way to making them winners. It is easy to understand why many modern fans of the Vols seethe with venom at the mention of the U of F.

Of course mere competition and loathing is not the only thing that goes into a rivalry — there are a lot of  other elements to a rivalry, including that little thing called “respect.” Even though I consider Alabama and Florida to be Tennessee’s two main rivals in the modern era, the “faces” of those rivalries in my eyes are decidedly different.

I hate to lose to Alabama. Hate it, hate it, hate it with a passion — with all that I am,  I hate to lose to those people.  Man, do I hate it!  I do not, however, hate Alabama — I respect them.  No, that does not mean I want Phil Fulmer to start emulating Nick Saban, or anything like that, but as a program — taking all of the history, tradition, fans, and other intangibles into account — I do respect the Crimson Tide. I have often described Tennessee’s rivalry with the Tide as a “classic” or “gentlemen’s” rivalry (and, no, that doesn’t mean that there are pole dancers involved). Speaking from my own experience, I would sum it up like this:

When it comes to the Tennessee / Alabama game, you pull like hell for your team in the stadium, and then you drink a beer with one another after it is over…

My point is that while the Vols and the Tide may declare war on the field — for me — it stays on the field. I can honestly say that any time Alabama is playing a non-conference opponent I pull for the Tide without reservation. The rivalry is one grounded in mutual respect (after all, I think Johnny Majors in his prime could drink just as much bourbon as the Bear — which is pretty cool, if you ask me). I know there are those who will disagree with me on this, but that’s what the rivalry “feels” like to me.

When it comes to Florida, on the other hand, I cannot stand one single thing about that school, and having attended games in Gainesville on multiple occasions, I can honestly say that I’d rather have my intestines removed through my nose … with a spoon … than go back. That would be true regardless of whether Tennessee won the game or not. I am not going to use this article as a flame-fest and just talk about how much I hate Florida, and I’m trying very hard not to let my personal thoughts and bad experiences seep into this too much — there’s no point or value in that. Thus, in the interest of avoiding a slanging match, I will use an example.

As many Tennessee fans can doubtless recall, on several occasions there have been instances where, Florida winning against another team (most notably Georgia) would help Tennessee in terms of the Vols’ ranking in the SEC East.  I remember being asked at the time, whether I would pull for Florida if it would help the Vols. My response to that question is as simple as it is heartfelt:

I hate Florida more than I love the Vols…

I will never pull for Florida under any circumstance, no matter how much it might hurt the Vols. Suffice it to say, based on my personal experience I have no respect for the Gators. Not a drop.

That is but one more reason Alabama ranks first in my book…

Thus, the team which I rank as Tennessee’s greatest rival is not the team I hate most — which I suppose is inherently inconsistent. For me, however, a rivalry is something more than unabashed hatred — though it does go a long way toward starting a rivalry. Ultimately, I feel that a true rivalry requires more. For me, that will always mean Alabama. Quite frankly, I don’t think Florida is worth elevating to that status (yep, that one’s gonna get me some hate mail).

Of course, another thing that must be considered if assessing these rivalries is what the rival thinks of Tennessee. For any rivalry to be maintained, the feelings of animosity must be mutual. Let me give you an example.

The reality is that most fans of the Vanderbilt Commodores probably consider the Vols to be their biggest rival. Tennessee and Vanderbilt are only about 3 hours apart, and they both call the same state home. It is easy for Vanderbilt to hate Tennessee. If you ask the average Vol fan, however, it is doubtful that Vanderbilt is anywhere near the top of their list of Tennessee’s rivals in terms of significance. While Vol fans tend to take Vanderbilt more seriously than they used to since Vanderbilt’s 2005 victory against the Vols — snapping Tennessee’s 22-game win streak — with an overall series record of 68-27-5 in Tennessee’s favor, it is doubtful most orange-clad faithful truly despise Vanderbilt. Having been present at Vanderbilt’s 2005 win, there were more than a few Vol fans (already disgusted with Tennessee’s performance that year) who openly congratulated Vanderbilt, or — at a minimum — admitted that the ’Dores were due.

Still, it wasn’t always that way…

From 1892 until 1927, Vanderbilt dominated Tennessee, compiling a record of 18-2-3 against the hapless Vols. The rivalry between the two schools was so great that, in 1925, when it came time to hire a new football coach, Robert Neyland was told that the only requirement of his employment was that he beat Vanderbilt. Keen on maintaining his livelihood, Neyland completely reshaped the dynamic of the Tennessee / Vanderbilt rivalry. Under Neyland, Tennessee began establishing itself as a winning program and embarked on an 82 year stretch during which Vanderbilt would win a grand total of 9 games in 77 tries. With that change, the rivalry rapidly faded into memory — at least for Tennessee fans.

So do Alabama and Florida consider Tennessee to be a true rival?

While I am not going to purport to speak for the Tide or the Gators (and I freely invite any comments from those out there who might actually stumble upon this article) I would imagine that the Vols are definitely an “honorable mention” in terms of rivalry for each. Still, given the fact that both Alabama and Florida have fierce in-state rivalries with the Auburn Tigers and Florida State Seminoles respectively, I doubt that — if polled — a majority at either school would place Tennessee at the top of the heap in terms of rivalry. In fact, at some level, I question whether any school in the SEC other than Vanderbilt would dub Tennessee as their most hated rival. The one other possible candidate might be the Georgia Bulldogs who — for the better part of my lifetime — have seemed utterly unable to consistently find a way to beat Tennessee no matter how heavily skewed the odds are in the Bulldogs’ favor.

I suppose, in the end, Tennessee is everyone’s second most hated team…

Either way, however, I do hope that these rivalries continue to exist and grow in terms or their intensity and fervor. While “true” hatred (and by that I mean real hatred of real people along the lines of the whackos noted at the top of this article) is a terribly ugly and reprehensible thing, I believe that a little faux-hatred directed at another team (not its individual fans) can be a very healthy thing for the game of college football — if for no other reason than to drive those competitive instincts into a fury. While I feel Tennessee’s rivalries with Alabama and Florida are in good shape at present — at least in terms of their staying power — it is always possible that they could fizzle out.

Of course, each fan of each team has the ability to define rivalry in their own terms. So too, changes in the game constantly reshape the landscape of college football, creating new affection, enmity, and apathy. Thus, it is impossible for me to say who Tennessee’s biggest rival will be in 10 years, 20 years, or beyond. I will not try to tell anyone what team they should despise.

I just hope that they find that one team … and keep those fires stoked for years to come.

– Go Figure …

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