I can already feel my lunch coming up at the thought of having to listen to Terry Bowden on television again.

Folks out there are reporting that Terry-boy is bound for West Virginia and will be taking the vacancy left by Rich Rodriguez. While I can — perhaps — see why the Mountaineers might want Bowden, due to the “Bowden Mystique,” he has never truly proven than he can win consistently with his own players (In 1993, he had just inherited all of the players that Pat Dye bought bribed recruited for Auburn). Assistant coaches seem to hate the man, he can’t recruit for shit, and his most notable accomplishment at Auburn was sleeping with the daughter of one of the major benefactors. Add to that the reality that there is nothing more annoying than listening to him talk, and it becomes much less apparent to me why the ’Eers would want him.

I can already hear him jawing:

“I remember back when my Daddy was head coach here back in the 70’s. Boy, I tell you what, I sure did love it here. And we were good back then — of course we were good, my Daddy was the coach. Yessir, I remember sitting down there at practice with Daddy and watching the Mountaineers get ready to lay another Bowden butt-whuppin’ on some other team. Boy, my Daddy sure is a great coach isn’t he?

Oh, I love it up here in West Virginia — I have such fond memories from my time up here. The players, the fans, the mountains, the coal. Man, I tell you it just doesn’t get any better than it is here. I remember my Daddy introducing me to everyone — they were all so nice. I remember going up into the hills sometimes to see the mountains and the trees. I remember being sodomized by some in-bred hillbilly with no teeth who lived just outside of town. Boy oh boy, I tell you what I am so excited — I just can’t wait to call Daddy and tell him …”

Yep, I just can’t wait to have Terry back coaching… just can’t wait.

- Go Figure …

About the Author:  "Lawvol" -- I'm just a guy living in North Carolina who has an unnatural fascination with the color orange. Just because I'm a Tennessee alum and die-hard Volunteer fan doesn't mean that I can't poke a little fun at the Big Orange and anybody else for that matter. Feel free to complain all you want. >> Read more from this author

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