Archive for November, 2007

Les Miles will find you, where ever you are…

The Corn Dog Conspiracy Continues!

— Go Figure … lawvol

Technorati Tags: college football, LSU Tigers, Fark, SEC Football, Photos, Funny, Humor, Corndog, Les Miles,

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• Great posts on “From the Bleachers“ and “Loser With Socks” on LSU fans and … Corn Dogs:

From The Bleachers: LSU Fans Smell Like Corn Dogs

Loser With Socks: Time to Kick Off Corn Dog Week

Never really thought about it, but they may have a point. So what do Tennessee fans smell like? I’m afraid to ask

• On the departure of Ed Ogeron (a/k/a “Foghorn Leghorn”): Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain: Ole Miss Will Most Likely Begin Coaching Search Today

— Go Figure … lawvol

Technorati Tags: college football, tennessee volunteers, LSU Tigers, SEC Football, Bulletin Board Material

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Well, here we are.

Tennessee is on the cusp of being crowned the champion of the SEC Eastern Division. A month or so ago, that seemed not only unlikely, but nearly impossible. Then, Florida lost its second game as the Vols decimated Georgia, and Tennessee was “in control of its own destiny.” That lasted all of two weeks before Tennessee got back-handed by Alabama and tumbled back down into the “might have beens” behind the Gators.

Then — lo and behold – the same Georgia team which the Vols had slapped around beat the vaunted Gators, who had raped Tennessee back in September. In the process of bending Tim Tebow over the table and giving it to him the hard way (or “Dawggy-style” as UGA would say), Georgia propelled the Vols into once more finding themselves “in control of their own destiny.”

Tennessee did everything they could to lose to South Carolina and the “Old Ball Coach,” and repeated that effort against Vanderbilt. All I can say is thank God for Daniel Lincoln (I really think they may have to make one of those Bud Light salute commercials for him).

So now, with a record of 8 and 3 (and 2 conference losses), Tennessee gets ready to face Kentucky and “determine their destiny.” The one remaining question: What is that destiny?

IF the Vols can beat the Wildcats (the same Wildcat squad which beat No. 1 ranked LSU), then they would earn the right to play LSU in the SEC Championship game and — likely — get scalded by the Bayou Bengals. Now as much as I’d love to play for the championship, I’d just as soon not get embarrassed by Les Miles’ team which is playing very well at present. Make no mistake, I’m not trying to sell the Vols short, but if we play the way we did against the Commodores, LSU would beat us like a bunch of little girls. Of course, the team that beat Georgia might have a chance against the Tigers — especially if they are distracted by all of the “North to Michigan” talk surrounding their coach.

What I don’t understand about the Vols this season is the schizophrenic nature of this team. Early on, we were scoring without any problems, but our defense resembled a really top-flight middle school team. Of course, Coach Chavis finally got his boys playing pretty well (which includes a lot of underclassmen). By the Georgia game, they were looking pretty decent — bend but don’t break. By South Carolina, however, Tennessee’s offense had more than made up for the defense’s determination not to suck for the entire season. Now, it seems that we can play some pretty good defense, and pray that Daniel Lincoln keeps practicing and can start hitting them from the 70 – 80 yard range.

What changed during the middle of the season? Well, I’m sure the experience helped the defense — being dogged by fans and slapped around by opposing offenses will make you get tough fast. As for the offense, the main thing that changed is that Ainge — whom I honestly like — now can’t seem to complete a pass under any circumstance. Of course, back when he was throwing well, his finger was still in a cast, so I’m not sure why he’s having problems now.

Thus, if I were the head coach, I know exactly what I’d do to get ready for both Kentucky and whomever may follow:

First, I’d lock the defense in a room with 50 crazed and perverted convicts currently “in the service of the state.” The defense seems to really respond to getting roughed up and taking from behind. That should get them fired-up and ready to go.

Then, I think I’d go break Eric Ainge’s finger again…

But what the hell do I know?

— Go Figure … lawvol

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Pure as the driven snow …

or so the Germans would have us think!

I bet I get some hate mail on this one…

— Go Figure … lawvol

A drive-by, under the proper circumstances, can be a beautiful thing…

— Go Figure … lawvol

In light of the game this week, and the fact that this photo just begged to be farked…

It’s the thought that counts, right?

And here’s a shot of Vandy’s new secret weapon…

Sorry, just couldn’t resist…

— Go Figure … lawvol

Well, here goes nothing…

After trying several other types of blogs—most of which actually required me to think and filter my inner monologue—I’ve decided to try a different type of blog, one which touches topics which are a little more basic, and definitely more fun.

To anyone out there reading (which is probably no one) welcome to “Gate 21“! This is going to be a little stream of consciousness, rambling and pointless, irreverent and unfiltered look at things through my eyes. The topics of this blog are pretty much set out in the byline at the top. While I doubt I will ever achieve the success of blogs like Loser With Socks, Your Mother Slept with Wilt Chamberlain, Everyday Should be Saturday, The Third Saturday in Blogtober, and Fulmer’s Belly, to name a few, I will try and add a few things along the way which maybe some poor deranged son of a bitch will read and think: “Damn, this ‘lawvol’ is pretty messed-up. I think I need to send him some hate mail, maybe hack his computer, figure out where he sits in Neyland Stadium and punch him in the face, go set fire to his house…”

Anyway, this is to be the start of something silly and pointless, but at least it gives me something to do when I should be doing something else…

                 — Go Figure… lawvol